Ram Gopal Verma ki 'Aaaarrggghhhhh'

So in the momentum gained due to the regained net connection, I will write on...

So, what about it?

Well, against logic and rational reasoning, I hired a CD of RGV's 'Aaag'. And saw it. And, like the rest, pulled my hair, ranted, cursed and eventually smiled at it's absolute inanity.

'Aaaargghhh', as is well known, is a rip of an even better known Ramesh Sippy ke Sholay.

Well, we've seen a load of remakes, but this time around, RGV takes copying to the next level. 'Aaarggh' is a dialogue -to- dialogue paraphrase of Sholay. ("Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi, kab... kab??" becomes "Divali kab hai, hain??, kab hai Divali"..... eeeeewwwwwww)

The characters are agains paraphrased from Sholay (but expected). The armless Thakur (immortalised by the incalculable gags on his disability on MTV) is not Inspector Narsimaha, fingerless, with a bad accent.

The wily duo of Jay and Veero transform into a dumbass Raj (that name only suits SRK), who is neither subtly sauve or overtly powerful like the original, and Veero is now Hero (ineptly played by veteran actor of yesteryears - Ajay Devgan). Veeru was playfully flirtatious, but Hero is downright cheap and vulgar. His attire, looks and body language make him look like a roadside pimp... he manages to stare at the wrong places at his lady love Ghungroo (I'll come to her in due course), and also manages a semi pornographic love song with her... Ugggghhhhhhhhh.

Now come the ladies... Ghungroo. Attempted version of the bubbly and extremely talkative Basanti... This one's a rickshaw driver. She is the sole earning member of the family, drives ricketty rickshaw that emits sounds more pleasing than her dialogue delivery. She is clothed in... well she isn't clothed much... in rather ridiculous clothes. I've not seen too many faminine rick drivers, and definitely none as irritating as her.

Durga Devi, Devi for short, in the 'choti bahu' of the Narsimha household. Sushmita Sen does badly. Poor acting, no poise... pathetic.

And lo and behold, here comes the ultimate villian bollywood ever saw... Babban... oops, were we expecting Gabbar???? Daku Babban, who resides in the metropolis, extorts money from builders, terrorises the town of Kaliganj (It's supposed to be a coastal fishing village, yet it manages to have builders who build tall buildings from whom a goon can extort money!!????), yet is wearing rags akin to what that poor model was wearing in the papers the other day. Poor Babban has a gang of utterly lazy and rather educated looking goons who do nothing but stare on... and on... and laugh... and some more staring... some morose staring... well, thats it. In fact, the only person who does anything in the goon-gang is Tambe, the reincarnation of 'Sambha'... This has a flaw though... because the origninal Sambha was an absolutely lethargic moron who sat atop an inaccessible hillock, doing nothing all day other than smoking pot, training his gunsights on unsuspecting victims of his boss... and of course, keeping track of the real-time updates on the amount of money on Gabbar's head.

And i guess that's about it. Oh wait... surprise surprise!!! But hold on... Not much of a surprise really... I mean, nowadays it's the era of 'Where father, there son', now ain't it??????
Remember the creepy nomad who comes to sell Gabbar weapons, and whose moll is Helen gyrating to 'Mehbooba oye Mehbooba'... well, in this rehash, its the usual suspect for cameos and special appeareances... And the award for best actor in a cameo special appearance goes to.... "Abhiskek Bachhan"!!!! Pheeewww.....


All in all.... Its one long saga of besura songs, an absolutely rehashed (read stolen) music score, bad actors, worse acting(without exception!), even worse direction, and a screenplay that is soooooo boring.... that I did not even see the end. Just switched it off. Just makes you go 'Aaaarrggghhhhh..........'