Lizards spook me off

I confess. Thats is one thing that scares the SHIT out of me. Lizards.
Undoubtedly, they are the dirtiest, most ugly, hideous and disgusting things god wasted some precious time on creating. The serve absolutely no purpose on this planet, and thus, have no reason to exist. But they do, which is one among the many serious incongruities of life.

They are sick, and spook the shit out of me. Today, I came back from Tekdi with Rahul and Pranav, and decided on making some nice egg poach and toast. Add some cheese and lemon juice, and I have a treat for dinner. But as soon as I enter the house and lay down the food items, I see a large grown up lizard on the wall close to the door. Tha fact that it was close to the door gave me some heart, hoping that I might drive it out. But nay, as I keep trying, out emerges another lizard from behind the sofa. In the meanwhile, I had armed myself with a broom. And then to cap it all, the two start mating right there on the wall, and make me look like a fool screaming obsenities, waving a broom and trying to 'shooo' them off the wall. Damn them lizards!

I tehn proceeded to give them a liberal spray of 'HIT'. That broke up the vulgar orgy and 1 lizard took flight, to my utter horror, into the bedroom. It's still in there somewhere, I dare not find out. The other damn thing went and hid inside the main switchboard in the hall, where the buttons and the fan regulator is. I said to hell with this shit. I went into the kitchen and prepared my dinner, but it had lost all taste. As i kept looking at the regulator, the damn thing would pop out, raise my heartbeat about 10 notches up, and again disappear into the regulator.

As I was about to decide to ignore it, I hear a strange 'plop'. The f%$#@$# thing has fallen to the floor!!! Eeeeeeooowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
But no, I decide to confront my fears.. a la batman. Broom in hand and Hit in the other, I stalk the damn thing and roast it in Hit spray. Luckily I managed to get the door open in time as the lizard came out of hiding from under the sofa. Again I burst the Hit directing it towards the door. The lizard, flustered by the poison, made a dash through the open door.

Ahh!!! What a relief. Though i cannot forget that there is another f%$#ing one inside, and the pervasive smell of 'Hit' won't let me forget, I feel a sense of relief. Yet, I still keep turning fearfully at the wall... Hoping there are no more lizards. Damn them again!!!

The Soft Option

Soft Option

Definition: noun, used to describe the simplest and easiest among choices. To take the beaten and treaded easy road.

Usage:

1. "I took the soft option when I decided to join junior college in the science stream." - another kid I knew, when he finished schooling sometime back.

2. "It's better to concentrate on 1 things, than mess up both. So I guess I'll concentrate on my HSC and not spend time attempting the IIT-JEE exam" - a boy I know who just passed 11th std.

3. "Man, breaking up was the Soft Option! You gotta fight back" - advice I gave a friend when he broke up cause his parents wouldn't approve.

4. The whole world wants to do engineering, MBA, without even knowing what they really are and what the people really want to do. They do it just because it's the well treaded path, the Soft Option" - a collegue at work.

5. "Not knowing what I want to do, is the easiest justification for taking the Soft Option." - Me, now.

Shivaji Mahraj ki Jay!!!

So today is Shiv jayanti. Atleast the state declared one. Doesn't matter very much because I still did not have a holiday.
So today is the great Shivaji's birthday. In fact, all the time I was in Mumbai, this was just another festival (if you can call it that). That's probably due to the more cosmopolitan nature of Mumbai, given that Shiv Jayanti is predominantly important to the Marathi folk. But naturally, it is more important in Pune, the centre of Marathi asmita. And boy is it celebrated with gusto!!!

Every major road, and every nook and cranny in that road has a group of folk celebrating it. This includes a bust of Shivaji placed ceremoniously in the middle of a small clearing and a bit of decoration behind it. In typical Puneri fashion there are loud speakers blasting away songs, abhangas, and other patriotic oriented music (but one place was playing songs about the Indian freedom struggle, which sounded rather anachronistic). It's almost like 50 big and small birthday parties being hosted in the honour of the great Maratha.

I came across this one cranny, where a typical celebration was in progress. There were about 20 odd children in the 10-15 age group dancing wildly to "Get Busy" by Sean Paul!!!?????!!!!????!!!! That was exactly my reaction. What struck me most, is that they neither understood the meaning of those lyrics, nor the importance of the birthday party they were celebrating. What a pity... tch tch...

Godmen, Godwomen and their works

I'm not an athiest, but my utter contempt for godmen and godwomen alike is legendary. I mean I bore my audience to death if such a topic comes up. I don't have anything personal against them, it's just that I'm cynical.

Recently, a Mata came a'visiting. They occupied the Exhibition Ground near my home in Mumbai, and filled it with busloads of people and speakers that blared music and Amma's praises till 2Am the next morning.

The same evening, Mihir was trying to convince me over coffee, that some of these godfolks do have good intentions at heart, and not all deserve the wrath of my cynicism. So it seems that this Amma gives individual attention (yeah, sounds like 12th standard tuitions) to all her 'Bhakts'. Mihir found out today the exact ruotine behind this individual blessing charade. It seems that people queue up at the stage to meet her. A lady holds a tissue to your cheek, wipes it clean and asks you for a language you understand. Then the 'Bhakt' proceeds to Amma and she hugs him, and whispers in his/her ear in your language of choice - "You are my son/daughter".

And, well, thats about it. Then you are supposed to feel happy about yourself and go back.