Ram Gopal Verma ki 'Aaaarrggghhhhh'

So in the momentum gained due to the regained net connection, I will write on...

So, what about it?

Well, against logic and rational reasoning, I hired a CD of RGV's 'Aaag'. And saw it. And, like the rest, pulled my hair, ranted, cursed and eventually smiled at it's absolute inanity.

'Aaaargghhh', as is well known, is a rip of an even better known Ramesh Sippy ke Sholay.

Well, we've seen a load of remakes, but this time around, RGV takes copying to the next level. 'Aaarggh' is a dialogue -to- dialogue paraphrase of Sholay. ("Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi, kab... kab??" becomes "Divali kab hai, hain??, kab hai Divali"..... eeeeewwwwwww)

The characters are agains paraphrased from Sholay (but expected). The armless Thakur (immortalised by the incalculable gags on his disability on MTV) is not Inspector Narsimaha, fingerless, with a bad accent.

The wily duo of Jay and Veero transform into a dumbass Raj (that name only suits SRK), who is neither subtly sauve or overtly powerful like the original, and Veero is now Hero (ineptly played by veteran actor of yesteryears - Ajay Devgan). Veeru was playfully flirtatious, but Hero is downright cheap and vulgar. His attire, looks and body language make him look like a roadside pimp... he manages to stare at the wrong places at his lady love Ghungroo (I'll come to her in due course), and also manages a semi pornographic love song with her... Ugggghhhhhhhhh.

Now come the ladies... Ghungroo. Attempted version of the bubbly and extremely talkative Basanti... This one's a rickshaw driver. She is the sole earning member of the family, drives ricketty rickshaw that emits sounds more pleasing than her dialogue delivery. She is clothed in... well she isn't clothed much... in rather ridiculous clothes. I've not seen too many faminine rick drivers, and definitely none as irritating as her.

Durga Devi, Devi for short, in the 'choti bahu' of the Narsimha household. Sushmita Sen does badly. Poor acting, no poise... pathetic.

And lo and behold, here comes the ultimate villian bollywood ever saw... Babban... oops, were we expecting Gabbar???? Daku Babban, who resides in the metropolis, extorts money from builders, terrorises the town of Kaliganj (It's supposed to be a coastal fishing village, yet it manages to have builders who build tall buildings from whom a goon can extort money!!????), yet is wearing rags akin to what that poor model was wearing in the papers the other day. Poor Babban has a gang of utterly lazy and rather educated looking goons who do nothing but stare on... and on... and laugh... and some more staring... some morose staring... well, thats it. In fact, the only person who does anything in the goon-gang is Tambe, the reincarnation of 'Sambha'... This has a flaw though... because the origninal Sambha was an absolutely lethargic moron who sat atop an inaccessible hillock, doing nothing all day other than smoking pot, training his gunsights on unsuspecting victims of his boss... and of course, keeping track of the real-time updates on the amount of money on Gabbar's head.

And i guess that's about it. Oh wait... surprise surprise!!! But hold on... Not much of a surprise really... I mean, nowadays it's the era of 'Where father, there son', now ain't it??????
Remember the creepy nomad who comes to sell Gabbar weapons, and whose moll is Helen gyrating to 'Mehbooba oye Mehbooba'... well, in this rehash, its the usual suspect for cameos and special appeareances... And the award for best actor in a cameo special appearance goes to.... "Abhiskek Bachhan"!!!! Pheeewww.....


All in all.... Its one long saga of besura songs, an absolutely rehashed (read stolen) music score, bad actors, worse acting(without exception!), even worse direction, and a screenplay that is soooooo boring.... that I did not even see the end. Just switched it off. Just makes you go 'Aaaarrggghhhhh..........'

I'M BACK!!!

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaa Haaawwww!!!!

I'm Back!!!

I've regained access to the Real World after a month long hiatus primarily due to the incompetence of the staff and managers at M/s. Sify Broadband Ltd., who happen to be my internet service providers.

For a month, the rascals kept me on hold without renewing my connections with fake promises of their 'people' who would come home to collect the bill and renew my net... Those 'people' never materialized and I was left stranded. Can you believe it, they must be the first people who almost lost a customer because they would not collect his bill!

After 8 complaint calls, lots of daily morning cursing and eventually a simple manual effort has rendered me... ONLINE!!!

Blisssssssssssssss......

"Yeh thi khabrein Aaaj tak, intezaar kijiye kal tak"

Oh how I YEARN to hear that line!!!

Ever since 'Aaj Tak' joined the 24*7 news bandwagon, it has pioneered the use of crass hype as a means of creating headlines.

And the worst part is that we are forced to watch these 'Breaking News' during lunch. It so happens that the bumbling canteen contractor has taken a fancy for India's answer to CNN. Probably we wrote too many caustic complaints in the Suggestion Book and this is his way of getting back. Whatever may be the reason, all 12 TVs in the canteen broadcast 'Aaj Tak' throughout the day!

And this was yesterday's feature story. They telecast programs with names like 'Sansani!' and 'Khauff!' during the afternoon lunch hours (and the names are quite self expanatory - on the lines of m/s Ramsay Bros & co.). The head line said "Ayyash Bauna Chor" (which translates into Fun-loving Dwarf Thief)!!!!!!!

And the best part is it was accompanied by a 15 minute story, with interviews of eye-witnesses and cinematic recreation too!!! WOW!!!

Down and out

For the past whole week, actually 8 days in all, I've been nursing a sore throat. To give that company, came a bout of cold last wednesday. Since then, I've been trying to fend off this double trouble... and simply put, it is debilitating and IRRITATING now!!!!!!!!!

A blissful day...

Ok... So here are the explanations :)

Last weekend was my best friend A's birthday... We've been buddies since engineering. And I have this terrible problem with dates, especially birthdays. I just CANNOT remember them, even close family's... (with a tinge of shame, I've gotta admit the only birthday I remember is my own).

So, I had been planning for a while to do something nice on that day. I planned to connive with his girlfriend. And the two of us set forth gathering other conspirators for D-day.

All our intricate plans were in place. She planned to meet him later in the day like she normally would have. I called him at 12AM like I normally should have, and spun a long yarn about being stuck in Pune due to office on saturday (HA!!! He fell for that one, cause it's true at times).

But alas!! Not many were free to attend the culmination of this conspiracy for the simple fact that no one was in town that day, so it was left to me, his girlfriend R and his school buddy J. To add confusion to complication, I got delayed in reaching the rendezvous. Eventually, the three of us landed up at his doorstep, cake in hand and the camera rolling...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!

A remains transfixed as he sees R, Me and J outside his door, with his sister in on this whole thing... He hates to admit this, but he was Totally suprprised!!!! :)

After the ritual cake-cutting, we gorged on auntie's Idli-Sambhar (gosh it was like manna!). Joke's, food, friends and some internet made it one memorable afternoon. Spontaneously we decided to watch a movie... Chak-De India it was. Fortunately, cause Bollywood usually behaves truant, it turned out to be a great movie...

For A it was a surprise, and R loved it too...

For my part, I could'nt contain the joy of meeting A & R after such a long time... We 3 and other friends have been together for the last 4 years in the same class, and then I used to take everyone's presence for granted.

It's only now, when I am away, bereft of their company... After losing someone do you understand their worth... I've learnt it the hard way. So I've always been the one who forgot to come, the one who forgot to call, the one who was never there... I want to change that, I want to let my loved one's know that I do care... These were my first steps to make amends, to implement what I have learnt... the hard way.

Blisssss

The past Saturday was one of the most memorable days of my life!!! Rarely, does one get to feel utter bliss... [:)]

'Puneri Patya'

So the legend continues...

For the uninitiated, Puneites, the denizens of the historic city of Pune, are known for their curtness and acidity of speech, only when you get on their nerves (that's my escape route if a Pukka Punekar reads this). And this terrific causticness of speech and thought, manifests itself in the form of information signposts, or 'paatya', as we call them in Marathi, that Punekar's put up in their shops or homes or from wherever they ply their trade.

There are an immense number of these doing the rounds in e-mails, which makes me doubt their authenticity. But this one I saw myself, and could help but give a wry chuckle at what must have motivated the author to say somehting so absolutely mean!

It goes like this:

At Parvati, the mountain-top palace abode of the Peshwas, the earstwhile rulers of Pune, is now a heritage structure. It houses the main Palace with the central temple, and outside the sqaure ramparts are other smaller associated structures. One of them is, quite predictably, converted into the Peshwe Museum. As you walk out of the exit to this structure, there is an entrance to your left, barred by a metal door with a smaller door serving as the sole opening. It is used as office quarters for the trustees or administrators of the place.

Now, this could have been easily stated in simple words asking people to stay out, but nay... in 'assall' Puneri tradition, a signboard hung on the door says "Aat baghynasarkhe kahi hi nahi ahe, tyamule aat dokavu suddha naye" (There is nothing to be seen in here, so don't even try to peek in)!!!