An enviable death

This is touching statement I heard on TV the other day.

Some crappy news channel was interviewing slain ATS chief Hemant Karkare's widow, and she was talking about her husband. For a typical Indian lady, she appeared very composed. While descibing the incidents, she made a very poignant statement.

"People envy the life of big people... People envious of the life of Shah Rukh Khan (people envy the life lead by famous people like Shah Rukh Khan), but my husband's death is enviable".

Hemant Karkare is really blessed, and I envy him - in life and death.

How embarassing is this???!!!

Happened to notice this rather embarassing incident (fortunately, I wasn't the subject).

I was waiting at a road divider to cross. The trafffic on the road in front of me was yet to stop, while the ones behind me had already halted. There was this cute girl riding pillion with most probably a boyfriend. Now we all know that most Indian signal/street junctions have urchins selling anything from cleaning mops to Harry Potter novels. So here there were these two girls selling roses.

Often, they are ready to pounce onn lovey-dovey couples and almost compel them to buy roses. And we try to shoo them off. Now, I observed, this girl saw the urchins and was longingly looking at the roses. As the urchin girl advanced in their direction, I could see a smile come across her face, hoping she would be asked, and maybe she would buy them too.

But to my utter surprize (and her utter discomfiture), the rose seller simply overlooked her, walked passed, and got busy with something else!! Now how embarassing is that!!!

Shivaji Mahraj ki Jay!!!

So today is Shiv jayanti. Atleast the state declared one. Doesn't matter very much because I still did not have a holiday.
So today is the great Shivaji's birthday. In fact, all the time I was in Mumbai, this was just another festival (if you can call it that). That's probably due to the more cosmopolitan nature of Mumbai, given that Shiv Jayanti is predominantly important to the Marathi folk. But naturally, it is more important in Pune, the centre of Marathi asmita. And boy is it celebrated with gusto!!!

Every major road, and every nook and cranny in that road has a group of folk celebrating it. This includes a bust of Shivaji placed ceremoniously in the middle of a small clearing and a bit of decoration behind it. In typical Puneri fashion there are loud speakers blasting away songs, abhangas, and other patriotic oriented music (but one place was playing songs about the Indian freedom struggle, which sounded rather anachronistic). It's almost like 50 big and small birthday parties being hosted in the honour of the great Maratha.

I came across this one cranny, where a typical celebration was in progress. There were about 20 odd children in the 10-15 age group dancing wildly to "Get Busy" by Sean Paul!!!?????!!!!????!!!! That was exactly my reaction. What struck me most, is that they neither understood the meaning of those lyrics, nor the importance of the birthday party they were celebrating. What a pity... tch tch...

Godmen, Godwomen and their works

I'm not an athiest, but my utter contempt for godmen and godwomen alike is legendary. I mean I bore my audience to death if such a topic comes up. I don't have anything personal against them, it's just that I'm cynical.

Recently, a Mata came a'visiting. They occupied the Exhibition Ground near my home in Mumbai, and filled it with busloads of people and speakers that blared music and Amma's praises till 2Am the next morning.

The same evening, Mihir was trying to convince me over coffee, that some of these godfolks do have good intentions at heart, and not all deserve the wrath of my cynicism. So it seems that this Amma gives individual attention (yeah, sounds like 12th standard tuitions) to all her 'Bhakts'. Mihir found out today the exact ruotine behind this individual blessing charade. It seems that people queue up at the stage to meet her. A lady holds a tissue to your cheek, wipes it clean and asks you for a language you understand. Then the 'Bhakt' proceeds to Amma and she hugs him, and whispers in his/her ear in your language of choice - "You are my son/daughter".

And, well, thats about it. Then you are supposed to feel happy about yourself and go back.

Death... almost!

Saw a lady almost getting run over by a train. In fact, she would have been split in half if that had really happened.

I was returning home from this test, and was waiting at the slow train platform. Thats when this lady decided to cross the tracks to the fast train platform. She looked mostly like a ragpicker, with a soiled bundle on her shoulders. Somehow, either she missed the announcement (which is quite easy to miss, by the way) or simply didn't see/hear the train coming. At least not until it was quite late.

I was on the other platform and could see this quite clearly. The people on that platform yelled for her to back off - simply step back a few strides and clear the track. But the woman just would'nt budge. you know, thats when i realised what they mean when they say one gets 'transfixed by fear'. You cant think, cant even make a damn movement, which, however, wouldn't take much if you were in your senses. God, that was one scary moment. All I could utter was some gibberish like "Oh Shit, oh.. o... oh Shit, oh Shit, Oh Shit...".

Luckily for her, the people on the fast platform lunged ahead and grabbed her and pulled her to safety. I could see her arch her legs away as the train smoothly glided past where she was standing. Phew!!!

'Puneri Patya'

So the legend continues...

For the uninitiated, Puneites, the denizens of the historic city of Pune, are known for their curtness and acidity of speech, only when you get on their nerves (that's my escape route if a Pukka Punekar reads this). And this terrific causticness of speech and thought, manifests itself in the form of information signposts, or 'paatya', as we call them in Marathi, that Punekar's put up in their shops or homes or from wherever they ply their trade.

There are an immense number of these doing the rounds in e-mails, which makes me doubt their authenticity. But this one I saw myself, and could help but give a wry chuckle at what must have motivated the author to say somehting so absolutely mean!

It goes like this:

At Parvati, the mountain-top palace abode of the Peshwas, the earstwhile rulers of Pune, is now a heritage structure. It houses the main Palace with the central temple, and outside the sqaure ramparts are other smaller associated structures. One of them is, quite predictably, converted into the Peshwe Museum. As you walk out of the exit to this structure, there is an entrance to your left, barred by a metal door with a smaller door serving as the sole opening. It is used as office quarters for the trustees or administrators of the place.

Now, this could have been easily stated in simple words asking people to stay out, but nay... in 'assall' Puneri tradition, a signboard hung on the door says "Aat baghynasarkhe kahi hi nahi ahe, tyamule aat dokavu suddha naye" (There is nothing to be seen in here, so don't even try to peek in)!!!

It happens only in India - part 3

With reference to the below post...

And we educated (some being electrical & electronics engineers) individuals, actually allow that to happen in out own homes, without blinking an eyelid!!!

It happens only in India - part 2

Ever called a carpenter over for getting a hole drilled in the wall??? Or, when your home is being renovated, ever noticed the carpenter use the electric drill to drill a hole in the wall or some woodwork???

There is something really peculiar about that. Right from school, to college (engineering even, since I did it in electronics), I was told time and again that any electric applicant MUST have a plug at its end. Never leave the 2 wires open. But carpenters here never, and as a rule NEVER, have even a 2-pin plug at the end of their electric drills!!! They always end up jacking the 2 wires into the mains socket, and hold that in place typically with a 'maachis ki teeli' (a matchstick).

It Happens only in India... part 1

I am starting this section titled - "It happens only in India". I intend to chronicle day-to-day, mundane events, that (though mundane) are rather remarkable. And oh so remarkable, becuse they cudn't happen in good 'ol Queen's England, or in Yankee land. They happen, only because, "eee toh hamaar bharat des hai".

At the outset, I'll make some things clear. This is no, ABSOLUTELY NO, reflection on India's greatness or its heritage. I am NOT anti-national. On the contrary my friends would attest that I am a die-hard patriot. So please, see this in the correct light. Remember, it is not just fun, it is fun from which we can hopefully derive some lessons, for our betterment of course.

So, here goes...

It Happens only in India... part 1

1. Major traffic snarls on a rather lesser known road, at 11.30 PM!!!
Beat this, today I was stuck for atleast 15-20 mins behind 4 large red buses, and numerous cars and bikes at the Golibar Maidan junction. And this traffic snarl occurred at 11.30 in the night!!! Now that's a time one would expect to record one's top speed. But not here.