It Happens only in India... part 1

I am starting this section titled - "It happens only in India". I intend to chronicle day-to-day, mundane events, that (though mundane) are rather remarkable. And oh so remarkable, becuse they cudn't happen in good 'ol Queen's England, or in Yankee land. They happen, only because, "eee toh hamaar bharat des hai".

At the outset, I'll make some things clear. This is no, ABSOLUTELY NO, reflection on India's greatness or its heritage. I am NOT anti-national. On the contrary my friends would attest that I am a die-hard patriot. So please, see this in the correct light. Remember, it is not just fun, it is fun from which we can hopefully derive some lessons, for our betterment of course.

So, here goes...

It Happens only in India... part 1

1. Major traffic snarls on a rather lesser known road, at 11.30 PM!!!
Beat this, today I was stuck for atleast 15-20 mins behind 4 large red buses, and numerous cars and bikes at the Golibar Maidan junction. And this traffic snarl occurred at 11.30 in the night!!! Now that's a time one would expect to record one's top speed. But not here.

Two weeks back was a 'long' weekend. That means anything more than 2 days at home. And after meeting truckloads of people for the first 3 days, I found myself quite lonely on the 4th. Didn't come as a surprize though, cause Anvay was busy the whole day and I knew Mihir had his vivas the next day.

So I set out all alone, for a walk on bandstand. Dad finds it 'out of the ordinary' and mom gets 'annoyed' when I say I'm going for a walk alone. True, i've rarely done that before. But this is one thing that I have come to do, and even enjoy, off late. It's not a circus tight-rope act OK. I just put on something, jack the i-pod into my ears, and off I go, preferably to Bandstand or the Sea-link area. In fact, any place would do, sole criteria being that I am left to myself.

So there I was, evening, 5.30 PM, walking on bandstand. Bandstand, as folklore goes, is a 'happening' place. Especially in the evenings. There is the Taj Land's End, Cafe Sea Side, the Bandra Fort, the sea facing promenade, bungalows and highrises (the fact that Mumbais rich and famous live in them, only adds to the aura). Moreover, it traditionaly was the only place for Bandra's couple's to enjoy an evening outdoors.

And most of all, is the sea. The Arabian Sea. Stretches 'as far as the eye can see'. The sun setting behind the ocean casts a multitude of hues across the sky. This is a treat for an amateur photographer like me :) But I must confess, that those hues also make me think, think deep, real deep, philosophical even. And I was sitting in the amphitheatre, with 20 odd people of various ages and sizes around me, yet all alone. Thats when I though all this, and put it down in an SMS to Akshay... this is the SMS.

"Hey man, m at bandstand right now. Was walking here alone listening to music. It really is quite pretty in the evening. Took a few nice pics. Looking around, was remembering the old days... In front of me is the sea and the setting sun, And behind me are the tall posh high-rises. One is like the past, all memories and happy and sad moments setting like the sun. And the other is the future one wishes for... And here I am, sitting between these two sides, unable to decide where i belong..."

Restaurant Review 1

Since I'm quite a sloth, a terrible cook and living alone in Pune, I get to eat out more often than most. So, I'm starting this section on my culinary experiences and hope that others might learn somthing from it. Cheers!!!

Place: Flags
Type: Multi-cuisine restaurant
Location: Near INOX multiplex
Ambience: 7/10
Food: If you are diet consious, STOP reading this and go back to your salads and diet coke.
The menu is HUGE. Preferable start your dinner with a drink. I tried mostly Mexican fare, and it was excellent. Special recommendation: The Fusilli Vanquese, pasta with chicken and cheese. Perfect for cheese-heads like me!!! Desert was some Dutch Trouffle, which was outta this world.
Good-to-go? Oh yeah!!!

Curing the Itch, the Natural way!

Sat through another training session at office the other day... this one on Naturopathy. It's in my quarterly goal sheet OK, I can't help but attend banal training sessions(who cares if it's training in Tai Chi or Oracle apps, as long as hours accumulate in my appraisal).

SO, the training on Naturopathy. OK, I was duped! It was supposed to be a session on stress management, but turned out to be something else. I nice lady discoursed in 'shuddh' and rather rambling hindi about the virtues and techniques of naturopathy. They are said to relieve every disease and ailment known to man except 'stupidity'.

Well, so the lady went on, and on... and on some more. It was kinda good, at least some of the techniques might benefit us software labourers. Towards the end, the nice lady tells us their 'sanstha' (organization, trust etc.) will treat us and 9 other family members for free using naturopathy. But to avail of this, one must complete the fomality of filling out a token form detailing history of diseases in the said members. And to fill this form, one must pay a small, token amount of... of... A Thousand Four Hundered bucks!!! Thats 1470 to be precise!!!

So what started of as an instructive session turned out into a marketting gimick for a little known healing trust. Gosh!!! and that too inside company premises, at the behest of the company itself!!! The icing on the cake, or should I say the cake on the face, was that someone tried to verify the veracity of this 'sanstha', and Google informed him that it was fraudulent scheme that promised lifelong treatment and thugged folks of their hard earned cash.

You know why such schemes work? Cause even naturopathy has no cure for basic stupidity.

Learnt something new... and I must add, rather intriguing today.

During this workshop on "Effective Technical Writing", we were gassed with the usual adage of avoiding jargon, using the active voice etc. There was this section which spoke about avoiding gender bias, which was rather new to me.

What it said was, avoid using Gender specific terms for common people. Like "ask HIM", instead, say "ask the USER". Well, this I knew, but the lady teaching us threw up some amusing and quite unexpected exaamples.
Use "Manufactured" ot "Synthetic", instead of the common "Man-made"
Use "Chairperson" instead of "Chairman".

But hey, I have a doubt. And don't shoot off labeling me an MCP. What does one in the industry use for "Manpower"??? What??? Hey, genuine question...

Sample this for indecency

Today I was attending a seminar at the head office, and I happened to ride the elevator from the 6th floor to the ground. As soon as the elevator arrived at the ground level and the doors opened, a barrage of men just barged into the carriage, as if this was the quickest way to heaven and salvation.

I mean, c'mon people, these wern't abborigines or middle age savages (they actually were educated employees of reputed a software giant) to not know or understand the simple rules of decency. It's not like I took multiple credit courses in decency and courtesy, but it is very basic manners to let people alight from a carriage and then get in.

And in stark contrast to this, was another incident I saw later in the day. The 6PM bus ferrying the employees home was about to leave. And trust me, you miss that bus, and you are stuck in office for the better part of 3 more hours! I was in the elevator, and we stopped on the 1st floor where my work area is. As soon as the doors opened, there was a collegue standing, waiting to ride the elevator to the ground floor to catch the 6PM bus. Yet, and I say again YET, she stood back in surprise at her own hurry, offered her apologies and allowed all to alight. Really admire that girl! It is such things in life, simple day to day occurences that set some apart from the others.

And this just isn't idle praise for her, but a lesson to be learnt by all. Cramming up books and earning 5/5 in the half-yearly appraisal isn't everything, learn to be human first.

Painful Irony

Growing up is largely inevitable. Physical growth is more or less given, but may not be the same mentally.

In my family and some friends, I am considered as the 'kid' in the family. The immature kid, who needs advice, protection, blessings, knowledge and scolding too. There people don't really TAKE my advice, rather I get loads of it. I am not really consulted, rather am told.

On the other hand, some people find me amazingly level headed. They actually ask my advice or discuss extremely sensitive matters with me. And at times I do offer some conclusion and advice too! Someone has actually said this, on more or less the exact words, that I have a clearer thought process than most.

So, this painful irony makes me wonder, which is the real me? Is it the bungling 'guy next door' who always forgets to call relatives on time, leaves his keys behind, wakes up late at times. Or is it the other 'guy next door', who is emotionally sensitive, yet strong as a rock, one who cares for his dear ones with utmost ferocity, one who would kill someone who even atempts to wrong his friends, one who never had a goal, yet worked hard and even achieved all his short term goals?

Its hard to decide, I wouldn't have called it a 'painful' irony otherwise.