Confessions... of a complex mind

Reading my mind...

2009-07-11T15:11:00.002+05:30

Srivatsa read 4 lines of my handwriting, and wrote down 20 lines about my personality.

Absolutely UNREAL!!! 95% of it was correct. Kudos to him.

But he missed one thing. I hate someone reading my mind or my thoughts. I'm never doing this again...

Hostel Days - 1 - The Boys Hostel

2009-07-11T12:06:00.003+05:30

The Boys Hostel. Men's Hostel... whatever... Its still the same.

We might go from boyz-2-men, but that doesn't change much. This ones about the physical environment we live in - The Boys Hostel.

A guy's room is typically unclean. A guy's hostel room, even more so! Sounds cliched, but is cliched for a reason. The rooms really are quite unclean. Typically a 10 ft x10 ft room, a single bed, almirah, a wooden study table and 2 chairs (one to sit on, the other to dry clothes).

Typical situation:

Bed covered by bedsheet, has a customized pillow (this is one thing guys are extremely passionate about!), a crumpled 'chaddar' thats never folded back after the night, and simply lies around like that.

The table seldom has a table cover (unless the boy has an over-protective mother). It houses the laptop, 2.1 surround speakers (sounds unaffordable to a student studying on a student loan, but isn't), a pen-stand, water bottles, cell phone, some books and other peripheral junk like half-used medicine strips, scraps of paper with information scribbled on them, old case study papers, some more books, receipts from last months shopping trip to the city, a movie ticket etc.

One chair is always with the table, the other has small items like UGs, handkerchiefs, socks etc. drying on it.

The almirah is STASHED! In the most disorderly fashion imaginable, the various compartments contain clothes (ironed and unironed together), UGs, sweaters and thick 'chaddars' for the winter, waterproofs, footwear, suits and formal wear and at least 2 large empty suitcases/strolley bags which were brought along when the person first came here.

Usually 1 small white board contains scraps of writing from the past year. A few assorted pictures. Somehow, probably cause we're away from home, all the boys (barring the atheists) have a couple of frames of whichever god they believe in. Beside that are pictures of family/wife/girlfriend (or sometimes even a picture of close friends a la Dil Chahta Hai).

Thats about the room. Now the hostel in general. The toilets are... well... atrocious. Often they look and feel like Railway station 2nd class waiting room washrooms. They don't smell like that though. Railway washrooms (and for that matter anything Railways) has this peculiar smell of metal. The corridors are generally clean, basically cause the college employs housekeeping staff. The hostel has a central open air enclosed space, converted into anything from Basketball courts, paved courts to flower beds. These are the best source of entertainment for the denizens. There is also a 'common room'. I don't know why it is called that. Just feel it is a rather unimaginative name for a room. It houses a TV, some TT tables or carrom boards, and some broken chairs. Here, it also houses some broken printers.

The above despicable description isn't common for all though. There are some guys who are worse (that is really possible!), and some who are much better. But this kind of community housing leads to an odd bonding among its denizens. Thats lacking in my block cause the seniors living here before pretty much kept to themselves, and never bonded with us juniors.

But B-Block 2nd floor does have some interesting seniors now. Theres me, Rohit 'NoWay' Patil, Atul 'A-Pod' Poddar, and the inimitable Vikrant Bhalla. Were the craziest among the others. The bathroom has some really weird plumbing; every time anyone turns on the cold water tap, all 3 bathrooms get only cold water. And thats extremely annoying when you are bathing against time in the winters! Then me, Bhalla and Patil try and go one-up on each other in coming up with the most exotic curses for the ass who did it. Other than that, we also indulge in playing odd songs in tandem, screaming randomly at each other, exchanging notes on movies and songs and also waking each other for lectures.

Okay, thats about it. I'm off to clean up my room and get my clothes from the washing machine. Need to dry them... on the chair.

Hostel days

2009-07-11T11:11:00.004+05:30

I've completed a year at IIM-I, living in a hostel for the first time, and now the new batch of first year students has joined us. Looking at their naive reactions this new life, I feel I have gained some perspective over the past year.

This is the first in a series of posts where I pen down my views on campus life, hostel living and its facets. Some of it may be generalised to any kind of hostelery, while some might be specific to my dwellings here. All of it, though, is entirely my personal opinion. Judge me if you must...

Candid thoughts (someone else's) on Mumbai

2009-07-09T22:59:00.002+05:30

Not too often does one get to read the first-hand experience of someone new to Mumbai living in the city in the peak of the monsoon mayhem (which visitors hate the most).

Its candid, very well written, and... well, quite insightful... so here goes... http://ohnewoerter.blogspot.com/2009/07/statutory-warning-this-narration-is.html

The Real MBA degree... Please stand up!

2009-06-18T13:20:00.003+05:30

Its heartening to read http://careers360.in/lead-story/iipm---best-only-in-claims.html

Finally, someone stood up and tried to expose the wildly innacurate and falsified claims and the media's complicity with Arin-DUM Chaudhary and his Indian Institute of Planning and Management (IIPM). The name itself reeks of 'farzi'-ness. 'Planning'?? What was he thinking???

Nevertheless, no point in going on-and-on about how fake are his placement figures, how prepsterous are the average salaries, how innacurate are his claims of internation faculty participation and how his internation tie-ups and partner colleges are nothing but unaccredited 3rd rate colleges in their own countries. Its all there in that report.

The real question that begs to be answered is what is this mad rush for an MBA degree? And at what cost, and I i'm not even thinking monetary.

Being inside a premier B-school for about a year now, I can vouch for how hyped and overpublicised an MBA degree is. And no offences to people who don't make it to the top rung of colleges - its just not worth it going to an IIPM just because one sees green manna at the end of 2 years...

And I'll give you my reasons why... Firstly, I have learnt more outside the classroom at IIM Indore than I have ever learned inside a classroom. Classroom education can be replicated.. even duplicated. But what about the outside experience?

The sheer pressure of having to compete with the top 1% of the country's youth itself makes you raise your game several levels up. Organizing events with a budget of more than 2 lack, restructuring a committee by introducing best practices and processes, trying to gather common funds from 240 unwilling and sharply cunning people, keeping people motivated to do non-academic tasks in the face of adverse academic conditions, two months at a premier international bank, interacting on a first name basis with alumni who are CFOs and Country Heads running large organization... these are the things what a manager needs to learn to do!

A Kotler or a Damodaran can teach you only so much; but what about all the above aspects. Zig Ziglar never can tell you how to sell a concept where people have to pay INR 1000 as contribution for a party they can't attend. Porter can never envisage the forces at play when one has to design events that outsmart competitor colleges with better resources. Damodaran can only give you the best D-E ratio for a large project, but can he teach you how to raise 35 lack in funding for an internal event, with traditionally low sponsorship and rather low turnout, with absolutely no equity and debt?

Havin worked for about 24 months totally, at 2 widely different corporates, I have realized one thing. Give me 4 months at absolutely ANY job, and I can learn it! It is the 'other' experience that a top-rung B-School provides that outscores anything that an IIPM or other tier - 4/5 college can provide.

And secondly, an MBA isn't the ultimate quest everyone must aspire for. Over the past year, I have seen people do well at things they like to do, with or without an MBA. Trust me, you are better off doing something you like and are good at, rather than joining a B-School (be it any) simply because you've heard that MBA are paid monstrous salaries for incredibly simple work. Both can't be true together. And what about satisfaction? Whats the point of doing drudgery for 50 lack a year, when your heart is somewhere else, and the mind alltogether elsewhere?

'De Dhakka' is a rip off too!!!

2009-06-10T18:48:00.001+05:30

Not sure who, but someone advised me to watch the marathi movie 'De Dhakka'.

And, well, I did take the risk of watching it.

And 30 mins into the movie I had a feeling its ripped off from 'Little Miss Sunshine'. And watdyaknow, I was right!!!

Loose ends

2009-05-12T22:00:00.002+05:30

Just saw this movie - "Vickie Cristina Barcelona".

Beautiful, albeit... ummm... slightly weird, movie this.

But I have noticed that I get this odd uneasy feeling, an uncommon feeling of haplessness when I see movies like VCB or read books like "English, August"... storylines that talk about the hollowness of many of our lives's pursuits... of the continous search with no end in sight... loose ends...

Wonder why... not sure...

Sometimes...

2009-05-11T21:37:00.002+05:30

Sometimes...

All you need is a patient ear,

Sometimes,

You want a hug, a warm embrace

Sometimes,

You need the hug, the warm embrace

Sometimes,

You want someone to say “It’s ok, tough luck”

Sometimes,

You feel cold, and want some warmth,

Sometimes,

You feel hot and tired, and need a cool calm,

Sometimes,

you just want to be alone,

Sometimes,

you just don't, can't,

Sometimes,

you want to just go away with someone,

Sometimes,

you want someone to take you away,

Sometimes,

you want answers,

Sometimes,

you don't want to hear even a single question,

Sometimes,

you just want to break, out, free, away...

There are many such times, not sometimes, often... But there isn't that someone, just no one.

Vote - its not your right, nay, its a responsibility

2009-04-30T20:41:00.003+05:30

Voted for the 2009 parliamentary elections today morning.

Bad candidates, worse agendas, dirty campaigning, mud-slinging, horrible weather, neglected policies, broken promises, vote-bank politics, hate speeches, 'joota' attacks, delimitation, criminal backgrounds, bad actors turned crooked politicians, pseudo secularism... aren't excuses!

This isn't a privilege, for certain we've not earned it. It is a responsibility.

Go vote.

Mee ShivajiRaje Bhosle Boltoy

2009-04-12T01:47:00.003+05:30

Saw a Marathi movie after a long time today. "Mee ShivakiRaje Bhosle Boltoy".

Rather expected storyline. A hen-pecked and insulted maharashtrian, well, a 'maharashtriy', as the movie prefers to call 'em, one day gets fed up of all the insults and being treated like a dog in his own backyard.

The insults are rather exaggerated, the acting slightly over-the-top and the plots rather idealistic. But, what the heck, anything is better than "Tasveer", now isn't it!

The movie revolves around the protagonist D.M.Bhosle. The man is a middle class bank clerk who gets nagged (and often overly insulted) by just about everyone. He is the stereotypical 'asmita haravlela' (one who has lost his identity) marathi manoos. To add to the hassles of daily life, is an unscrupulous builder, and his (rather long) array of yes-men. Here, I felt the insults were too exaggerated. Nowhere does the fish seller insult a buyer aloud regularly. And neither does a movie director tun away a girl after selecting her for her merit, just because she is a 'bhosle', a marathi, who supposedly can't carry off western clothes and has a vernacular tinge to her English. Nevertheless, as expected, one day he just can't take it anymore. He loses it!

Enter Chattrapati Shivaji Maharaj! Now this was a welcome change from the usual pathetic story lines dished out in marathi cinema. The Maharaj and his aide themselves appear in front of the protagonist Bhosle and guide him with the tonic of marathi 'bana'. Bhosle gathers his whiny act together, and decides to brave it out. Believe himself that he is part of the problem, and then try to fix it. Not just for himself and his family, but for the marathi manoos in general. To see how he does it, go watch the movie.

Some things here that really struck a cord, and some others that well, just fell flat.

Bhosle explains to the Maharaj that today's Mumbai is dominated by outsiders. The Sindhis andMarwaris control the business, the south indians control the food and restaurant businesses and the north indians have converted the civil services into their fiefdom due to rampant nepotism. The part where Shivaji explains to a distraught Bhosle, that the cause of this situation is the marathi manoos himself, really struck a cord. The crowd was literally 'pin-drop' silent. "Who stopped you from doing the same, Bhosle?" astutely questions the Maharaj off the protagonist. Who stopped you from doing business, from running hotels, and from entering the civil services. Not the sindhis and marwaris, not the udipis and not the bhaiyyas. Its our own inability, our own incompetance maybe, that has lead to this situation. "'Amchya shakha kuthe hi nahit' (we have no other branches) he mhanyat ucchata manoon kasa chalel?", he adds.

Though, I would accuse the movie of containing some stereotypes. The north indian taxi driver and the muslim tailor who are tenants in Bhosle's large bunglow. There is a part where Bhosle magnanimously makes sure that their interests are taken care of. He had explained how they too were as much 'maharashtiy' as him. Since they were born and brought up here, and their children study here in a vernacular medium school. Well, I just thought it was a ploy to distance the movie from the MNS's anti-bhaiyya taxi drivers plank. And, it worked too, to some extent. The typical 'Usman Parkar' bhai wasn't too convincing, at times even comical.

The movie also suffers from some over-zealous action stunts towards the end. That and the story in the latter part gave a feeling that the director just somehow lost his way, and wasn't sure what next to do.

Nevertheless, credit must be given for some excellent cinematography. My biggest complaint about recent marathi films has been the abysmal cinematography. The usual fare is too trashy to even merit a look, but even some great recent movies like 'Shwaas', have some very poor filming. See it and you can see the film quality change over scenes! But this one is a cut above them all in this respect. Excellent shots, a beautifully choreographed 'shahir' sequence, some crisp editing of Shivaji Maharaj's horse riding scenes that could so easily have overwhelmed the movie, and excellent film quality.

Personally, I thought the plot was.... ummm... well... can't really describe it. I'm sure though, that I wouldn't call it a good storyline. It definitely had a tinge of Munnabhai, but only up to the idea of a man visualising a famous historic personality.

But there are some real lessons to be picked from the movie; at least worth the one watch.

Work-Life balance... is there anything like that??

2009-04-03T22:39:00.002+05:30

Quite thought provoking, this...

Excerpt of a dialogue from "The Devil wears Prada"...

Nigel: Excuse me, will you adjust the attitude! Don' make me feed you to one of the models

Andrea: Sorry... it's... aaa... a busy day. And my personal life is hanging by a thread, thats all.

Nigel: Ah, well, join the club. That's what happens when you start doing well at work... Lemme know when your whole life goes up in smoke... that means its time for a promotion

Makes me wonder... "How True" I say... is there really something like 'Work-Life' balance. Or is that all just bullshit?

Wasteful pursuits of an idle mind

2009-03-26T21:36:00.002+05:30

Deepesh challenged me to this seemingly inane online game - Monkey Kick-Off. Sounds dumb, is dumb, but rather addictive - especially when someone challenges you, and you have nothing better to do but study.

Today I finally beat his score, so just had to go on record with this!!!

Beat that, buggers! (if you've got nothing better to do)

Evening glory

2009-03-20T19:26:00.004+05:30

This is evening was unusually beautiful... Well, not unusually... Though the days have become blisteringly hot, with hot breeze blowing all day, the evenings are rather pleasant, and the sky is lit by the setting sun with myriad colours. I'm just not around in the evenings to see all that.

Nevertheless, I got a chance to go out today evening, and predictably so, my trusty camera was hanging by my side. It has been rather hot lately, and the clouds gathered today for a spot of light rain and some Evening Glory.

Tandem writing at its best!

2009-03-18T21:14:00.003+05:30

This is one of the most hilarious stories I've EVER come across. I almost died laughing over this one... I got this some 4-5 years back, most probably over e-mail; so much so, that I can't even remember who sent it. Its a tandem writing exercise i.e. one person writes a paragraph, while the next one is written by another person.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about

him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of

the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to

Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar

orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could

sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a

hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him

flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one

lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands

of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of

its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed

the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had

left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion

missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his

top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the

coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized

poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I

have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA???

Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

*A+ - I really liked this one.*

Manifestations of tension

2009-03-16T20:57:00.007+05:30

The last week or so has been trying to say the least... and will be so till 31st March.

We have been working on the trot, without a break, and will do so till 31st March.

And the tension, fatigue and lack of sleep is manifesting itself in different ways in different people.

For my part, I am increasingly annoyed, frustrated and with a general frown on my face. At least, more than usual. Deepesh is getting crankier by the day, with enormous mood swings from affection (!) to hatred for the woman kind in my college. Vivek too is increasingly irritable, talks less and generally disappears from the usual haunts.

Some others are more subdued, others have begun plotting for the exams. Some other have become increasingly artificial, have been buttering the faculty way (!!!) more than usual, and are simply irritating to have around. Even with no CP, some people's mental acidity comes out as verbal diarrhoea in class!

"The days have gone down in the west... How did it come to this?"

Back to debating

2009-01-26T22:23:00.002+05:30

Took part in a Parliamentary Debate organized by the debating society today.

Can't believe its been more than 3 years since the last time I participated in a debate. I had forgotten my own voice!

I lost today. Qualified for the final round, but me and my team-mate came third among three. All three were separated my 1 point each, so it was one really closely fought contest. Worst part is, didn't win any cash :-(

Nevertheless, the best part was that I enjoyed it! I had given up debating after my team's loss in the Fr. CRCE memorial annual debate in my final year in engineering in 2005.

Felt great to be back in that debating atmosphere. Somewhere over the years, I had lost that edge. I don't know why... maybe out of fear, maybe out of shame of losing, maybe out of embarrassment or maybe out of sheer laziness, I had entirely stopped debating, and consequently, was completely out of touch with current affairs and issues. Well, now I'm back!

The Bhimbetka excursion

2009-01-26T00:14:00.002+05:30

Just got back from a 2 day trip to Bhimbetka, a world heritage sight about 250km from Indore.

It isn't a particularly spectacular place, but I just HAD to get out of this campus! The extended weekend presented the perfect opportunity, and for once, I jumped at it.

This place is basically some rock formations and rock wall painting dating back about 9000 years to Mesolithic man. Most of there are hewn into solid rock by wind or water where, presumably, Mesolithic man lived, ate, drank, slept and hunted. As proof, all we have is wall paintings using 'geru' or natural orange/ochre paint, that is absorbed into the stone. This prevents the paintings from being erased by natural forces over time. The pictures mostly consist of cows, bulls, other random animals and hunting and party scenes.

The best part was that I got the first chance to unveil my new camera, the Canon SX10 IS. Had a field day taking photographs in every possible mode and situation. That was the highlight of the trip :-)

An enviable death

2009-01-22T23:16:00.002+05:30

This is touching statement I heard on TV the other day.

Some crappy news channel was interviewing slain ATS chief Hemant Karkare's widow, and she was talking about her husband. For a typical Indian lady, she appeared very composed. While descibing the incidents, she made a very poignant statement.

"People envy the life of big people... People envious of the life of Shah Rukh Khan (people envy the life lead by famous people like Shah Rukh Khan), but my husband's death is enviable".

Hemant Karkare is really blessed, and I envy him - in life and death.

It SUCKS to be undecided

2009-01-21T20:20:00.002+05:30

"So, what are you planning on specializing in?", "So, what are you planning on doing?". In the last couple of days, somehow, I've been asked these question quite often. A majority of times, by myself.

And I don't know the answer!!!

There is this song that says:
"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what
they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don't."

It's really easy for people to say that it's cool to be undecided; Yeah RIGHT! They won't understand how hard it is to answer the above questions when every person you meet after a span of more then a month asks them to you. They will never understand how it feels like to stand in a group of people who are discussing industry trends and career paths, when the only thing going on in your mind is :"F*&%, these guys are GOOD!". They'll never understand how difficult it is to motivate yourself to do things like studies.

And most of all, they'll never understand, that when you are really low, when everything around you seems to be going horribly wrong, when you are doubting your own abilities, how almost IMPOSSIBLE it gets to explain your most mundane actions. It seems surreal, when your very existence becomes inexplicable.

The deepening void with not a straw to cling

2009-01-20T02:10:00.004+05:30

I realized what blindsided really means. There are some pent up emotions inside everyone (which, by the way, I feel girls are much better at releasing than guys), some feelings, thoughts, reflections, and all it needs is some trigger, often quite unrelated. And SNAP!

Something snaps, and the floodgates open, and all those reflections come running out. Blindsided.

I guess I am quite an expressive person. My expressions and emotions are always hidden. But some of my closest say that my eyes say a lot; sometimes give me away. I wonder what my face says at such occasions, because not all can notice it. My parents have never been able to decipher them, many of my close friends can't see it. Vivek saw it rather instantly today, so I was wondering what gave me away. Cause, well, I was really Blindsided!

It's not that hectic life here is getting to me, because trust me, I can handle and have handled worse situations all alone. It's just like what they say, "sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind... the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself". I guess I took this far too seriously. And when you seem to lag in this ultimate race, even with yourself, thats when it strikes you that something is wrong, terribly wrong!

I won't go into what exactly got me upset. Actually there were too many things. An initiative I wanted to drive wasn't coming along, committee w is pressing, studies are in the doldrums, and many more. Details, maybe later.

But what got me most upset is that there is no one or nowhere I can vent all this out. What I meant before is that girls find it a lot easier than guys to express such feelings (Well, this may be a generalization, I'm not sure if I'm right). They talk to their girlfriends (and they all have at least one), and with whom they are absolutely free. They bare themselves to them, talk it over, and its over! But for us guys, and especially jerks like me, such relationships are few and far between.

I am finding it increasingly impossible to talk about my deepest feeling to absolutely anyone. Its not like I don't have close friends. My best friends can't comprehend my panic in such situations. I have spoken to them about these things many times, but they don't get it. I just come across as the neurotic guy who keeps cribbing about everything. There are very few who can even notice that there is something wrong, given my behavior, and even among those handful, hardly anyone can sympathize, let alone empathize with what I am going through this very moment. And that scares me. Am I becoming incapable of building a more-than-superficial relationship with anyone?

At such times, you need someone to talk to, someone to be with, someone to hold on to, and how much ever my pride might come in the way of admitting, someone to cling to, to hold on to for sanity. I don't have anyone like that. I just realized... that I really AM alone.

I hate examinations!!!

2008-12-29T02:37:00.001+05:30

Its 02.34AM in the morning, it's dark outside, and cold. I just had a paneer sandwich and a coffee, purportedly because I need to eat if I'm staying up late, but mainly because I am plain bored.

I have never studied (somewhat sincerely) till so late an hour, and I don't like it!!! When is this examination going to END???

A candle for Manjunath Shanmugam

2008-11-20T18:34:00.002+05:30

Manjunath Shanmugam was the IIM Lucknow graduate of the 2002 batch, who was murdered by a petrol pump owner and 7 of his accomplices in connection with Manjunath's shutting of the pump for adulteration and malpractices. Manjunath paid the price for his honesty and integrity.

The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust, in an international corporate collaboration committee that was formed initially to get speedy justice to Manjunath, and then went on to work towards a larger goal of attacking corruption and unethical business malpractices in the country. It works extensively in organizing RTI workshops across the country and also constitutes an award for positive social action aimed at reducing corruption by individuals.

In college too, we observed a small commemoration ceremony for Manjunath Shanmugam on his death anniversary, by lighting candles and taking the following pledge -

"I acknowledge that integrity matters today more than ever - to me, to those in my life and to the wellbeing of all of the collectives of which I am a part.

I commit myself to set an example through ethical conduct for the furtherance of integrity and to work against all forms of corruption that I come across, in whatever ways possible.

I will not acceptor offer any advantage, gifts or benefits that would compromise my integrity.

I am prepared to explain honestly and be accountable for my actions when dealing with all spheres of society. Therefore, my actions will be transparent/

I will strive for high standards of service and ethical behavior and promote these values in those around me.

Through the above actions I hope to promote the welfare of all our people."

I only wish there were more people to take this pledge...

This ones for Aditya

2008-11-15T01:39:00.004+05:30

Aditya Save (Born: July 27, 1984, Died: Nov 14, 2008). Fondly known as 'Professor Save'.

This is what he says about himself on Orkut: "Hi,I am very simple guy having positive way of looking towards life...!"

And that is exactly what Aditya Save was. It is hard to say 'was', the past tense. It's hard to believe he is past tense now.

I knew him since my days at TCS training together in Trivandrum. Save was an extremely hard working, even workaholic to an extent, plain, simple and down to earth guy. He had a quirky sense of humor and a very typical 'professor' like style of talking and walking. Thats him - leftmost in this picture taken on the last day of training at Trivandrum.

Save breathed his last yesterday when he succumbed to a long undetected brain infection. May his soul rest in peace.

IRIS is over :-(

2008-11-10T22:36:00.003+05:30

IRIS, the annual management fest of IIM Indore... just got over. And boo hoo!

IRIS is a 4 day extravaganza held on the vast 193 acre campus of IIM Indore. It has a gamut of events covering a wide range of academic and non-academic interests for students from the top 30 B-schools in the country. From B-plan contests to gaming competitions, from Stock Market simulations to gaming competitions, we have it all. The culmination of the event is marked by a live concert in the institute main lawns.

But the crowning glory of this event, the flagship event (2 among 3) is Ashwamedha. Ashwamedha is our search for India's best upcoming manager. A continuous string of events, held over 2 days, are used to test the contestants on various aspects of an ideal manager's skill-set. From team skills, to intelligence, analytical ability, operations, finance, marketing; all are tested by innovative games and contests. We start with over 1500 participants from across the country. 2 online elimination rounds bring them down to the top 30, who are invited to the campus during IRIS.

This year, I was a part of the Ashwamedha Core team. That is how I realized the Ashwamedha philosophy. It's not just an event, not just a competition. It's an institution. Sounds like a lecture in OB? Well it did initially. But it makes a lot more sense after hearing the participants talk once the event is over.

Every year, it is out endeavor to make the event unique. Every year, the entire event is overhauled and new games are developed to be part of Ashwamedha. It was the same this year too. The first day put the 30 participants through a variety of innovative and interesting games testing various skills a manager should possess. After a grueling 15 hours on the trot, the participants were truly exhausted. But that was just half the journey.

At the end of Day 1, 6 top participants qualify for the next day. There would be no sleep that night for the chosen 6!

The 6 are then put through even more rigorous events and competitions. Out of the 6, the final is chosen after an open interview in front of a panel of 4 judges and an intimidating audience of 400 people!

But what was most interesting and educating was the entire experience. For me, Ashwamedha has transcended from an event, into an experience. The uniqueness of Ashwamedha lies not just in the fact that it is rigorous and trying, but that fact that it attempts to rise above the mundane and commonplace skills, and really tests tour mettle, your attitude, your very constitution. And not just for the participants, but also for the organizers. I can attest to that after sleeping about 6 hours in 3 days, and still appearing fresh and happy at the end!

So I hail Ashwamedha - 'Ekameva Jayate'!!!

Back after another prolonged break

2008-11-01T22:44:00.002+05:30

Back to writing after a rather long break.... again!

This habit is actually bad, really bad. Not sticking to something, getting back after a while, all apologetic, and swearing that I'll never do it again... and end up doing that again. Again and again!

Anyway, thats just another one of my flaws discovered. Whatever...

Events have been thick and fast since I last posted. The student alumni committee (of which I am a member) held it's annual alumni meet. It's called Footprints. Unbelievable amount of work went into that, and thankfully, all that hard work culminated in a successful event. Gosh, that weekend I was up for days. Personal record set: 45 mins of sleep in 65 hours!

Classes started in full swing, and this semester is hectic! Gosh, 10 courses and so many events this time. And I thought I was ready for anything!

Divali was spent at the insti... Couldn't get a break to go home :-(

My birthday was celebrated in style here. I was first dragged to the Melting Pot (thats the hang-out spot outside the mess). There, a bunch of 30 odd folks had gathered to give me my birthday wishes. This is how they did it:-
1) Shoved 2 packs of ice-cream down my pants
2) Then proceeded to give me birthday bumps
3) Doused me with Mirinda, and other smelly aerated drinks
4) Some more bumps
5) Then came the cake! Cut a nice pineapple (I think) cake.
6) And just when I thought it was over, someone shoved my head into the cake.
7) So I barely got to eat any of that cake, and then spent half an hour bathing that crap off my body!

So, quite memorable, I must say...

@EI, that job is called "Commercial Co-Pilot" :-)

Lehman ke naam pe bill faado

2008-09-26T08:48:00.002+05:30

Ever since Lehman Brothers' obituary was carved on their tombstone in Wall Street, it has become fodder for all B-school discussions and ammunition for B-school lecturers to spice up their usually boring lectures.

Unbelievably, lecturers from 5 different subjects (and that means 5 REALLY different subjects) openly ascribed Lehman's demise to some concept in their subject. And even I could make out that that was totally arbitrary!

Learnings

2008-09-25T16:32:00.000+05:30

What I learnt after 1 semester in India’s premier B school

1. Clearly, I am not the most intelligent, capable and awesome person in the world.

2. Hard work must pay, cause I am nowhere near my dream job.

3. Unable to figure out what my dream job is, still...

4. I am not afraid of any situation. After going through the rigorous schedule and crazy examination, I feel I am prepared for any eventuality. Bring it on!

A new walk to take

2008-08-27T23:38:00.002+05:30

This guy in my section floated the idea of taking up some social initiative. He proposed that it be limited only to our section (which is a diverse group 60 people). We could all take up some social initiative, and act on it. There would be no publicity, no association with any existing Interest Clubs (or I-Clubs as we know them) and no tie-ups with NGOs. Just 60 people trying to do something good, and for once, without expecting returns. Just for our own internal satisfaction.

It's still in a very embryonic stage, but at least I am liking treading this new road, this new walk...

When the lights go out...

2008-08-27T23:32:00.002+05:30

I have observed this phenomenon at many places; home, building, school... even Planet - i. But it is all-the-more striking here, at Planet - i.

Power cuts happen often, around once in 2 days, for about 15-20 mins each time. The generator takes about 5 - 10 secs to kick in. During this short timespan, the entire institute is blacked-out.

Everytime this momentary black-out takes place, and I mean everytime, people start hooting!

I just don't get it! I really didn't expect such juvenile reactions from a place where the average age f student is 24 years.

The 'Leveler' explained...

2008-08-20T17:41:00.003+05:30

@Kunjan - It's hard to explain man... All along, you have this feeling, that you are GOOD. Call it your 'residual self image' (a la The Matrix). But the moment it gets shattered from the most unexpected of ways, it does shake you up. Brings you right down to earth.

Basically, I thought that I would make a good manager. Probably a great manager. And I formed that impression by looking at the people around me. Sure I know smart people, good people. Some of my friends, some family. Sure they are smart and intelligent. But it's only after coming here that I realized that I had not seen that many great people after all. And that somehow altered my Residual Self Image.

Well, thats the leveler I was talking about. No perticular example thought. Just that, some people in my class are so good, that I have started respecting them. I have actually started looking up to some of them!

What a leveler

2008-08-14T03:06:00.003+05:30

Another thing I have realised at IIM I is that I am not the best in the world.

I am not conceited, proud, or even self centered; people who know me will whole heartedly attest that. But I did have an image of myself where I thought I was quite capable. In fact, very capable.

It's only when one lands in such elite company that one realizes ones real worth. Though I know for a fact that I am better than most of the people here, but I also have to realize that I am not as good as a sizable number too! They don't have relative grading for nothing; it really puts your self-perception into perspective.

And better or worse isn't just about marks. It's about personality, knowledge, application, intelligence, wit, charm, and any of the many qualities one wishes for.

Frankly, if nothing else, this past one month has been the greatest leveler in my life. It is to be seen whether I learn from it and grow, or give it up as a bad joke. Hoping (and trying) for the best. Later...

Whats the big deal about an IIM

2008-08-09T21:03:00.004+05:30

These are some of my thoughts in the first month at IIM Indore. So, they may not be concrete, and are subject to change.

Earlier when I got rejects from all the US universities I had applied for an MS (despite a GRE score of 1540), most of the people comforted me saying that they aren't the end of the road. US universities aren't the fountainhead of knowledge that one must die or kill to get in. And what do they have that Indian colleges don't?? Pertinent question...

But now I do have the answer. Having spent just 1 month at IIM Indore has made me realize the difference, between an average college, and the best college in the country.

Firstly, they DO have some good faculty. It is a common myth that there is nothing special about the faculty at IIM's, and that it is just the brand name that they are riding on. Trust me, the faculty is good. There always are the rotten ones, but they don't really spoil the rest of the basket.

Secondly, the kind of industry exposure you get here in the form of guest lectures, alumni interaction and seminars, is simply unparalleled. In a matter of 30 days, I have heard top executives from Tata Finance, one of the Big Five consulting companies and one of the worlds leading financial organizations. C'mon, somethings gotta rub of on you, even if you just sit there.

Thirdly, and probably, most importantly, the peer group one works with is exceptional. That is the greatest advantage of being in one of the countries top B-schools. The sheer weight of the peer group drives you to excel in all your activities.

Though I do not justify the insane desire to do an MBA or a BTech from these colleges among students, I can totally understand the reasons.

Some new terminology - CP, Class Participation

2008-07-13T09:12:00.003+05:30

This isn't a new phenomenon. I have seen it before, in varied forms, and in worse degrees too. I have done it at times (mostly to save my ass; look good after being caught goofing off!), but never have I performed or seen acts of arbitrary vocal expression as abundant as in my daily lectures.

Well, it's called CP. Class Participation. Turns out that 5% of the subjects marks are allotted for Class Participation. That actually includes marks for regular attendance (which is of paramount importance at Planet - i), and for mental presence in the lectures, which, supposedly, manifests itself in the form of questions and answers one gives in class.

Now, I am an outgoing person, and I have a view on anyone and everything. And I am not afraid to voice it! Naturally, I question a lot of what is taught in class. Consequently, even answer some. And mind you, never with CP in mind. Never!

But there are a few characters in class, and 2 weeks is time enough to identify such goofs, that continue to indulge in, what we call, 'arbit talk', just to pass on the impression that they are listening and actively involved in the class. Random questions, paraphrasing answers, repeating points already written by the professor, general sentences trailing into silence (!!!!), digressions from topics just to show your general awareness... phew!!! You cannot imagine how irritating it gets.

Just yesterday, the Organizational Behavior lecture was on and the professor was discussing the changing aspects of business that will impact OB in current times. CSR was one of them. Within a matter of exactly 3 minutes, we were discussing legislations on Carbon Credits!!! WTF!!! How the hell are carbon credits related to CSR??? I fail to realise.

Some of us have now decided to take the matters into our own hands. Every time someone tries to digress (for reasons of 'arbit-CP'), we shall strike him/her down! Lets see how this new idea turns out... later for the result...

End of ragging season

2008-07-04T14:30:00.002+05:30

I had never heard of a book called "Joker among the pack", a Chetan Bhagat-ish take on life at the IIMs. If I had, and if I had read it, I would have realised long back that all that happened for the first 4 days, was all big a farce. Just a way to rag the juniors, since ragging is legally banned.
It's called "HellWeek". All the 5.15 morning jogs, SAD classes, Yoga sessions, post-midnight assignments, threats of an 'F' in audit courses was all a load of crap. Ragging season ended last night, and quite predictable. So much so, that the joke was on the seniors. They announced that a PGP1 guy was caught with dope in his room, and he was to be expelled. The insti director was to address us all at 9PM, so the entire college assembled in the auditorium. There they gave us a lot of gyaan... But we were too smart for that; some wise-cracks actually questioned all their theories and claims!!! (I kept my mouth shut though).
It all ended with them coming out with it all. A big party ensued, after this 'welcome' for us. They predictable dunked many of us with water from the terrace, aseembling us purportedly to take photographs. After that, was a dance party, music, non-alchoholic drinks, the works...
The best part about this whole deal is, I CAN SLEEP PEACEFULLY TILL 9!!!!

The Longest Night...

2008-07-01T20:03:00.000+05:30

Continues from the previous post.

I didn't actually come back that night. There were 2 assignments put up that very night, at 1AM in the morning! Had to miss the match. Shacked up in a friends room and was up till 5.10AM finishing the 2 damn things. 5.10 because at 5.15AM we have to report for 'Physical Exercise' sessions. That is followed by an hour of 'Self Awareness & Discovery' (long for SAD, and very aptly so!), and then uptil 8.30AM we have Yoga! Classes start at 9, but won't until day after tomorrow. And just to keep us busy, we have a continuos inexhaustable flow of assignments every day! And they range from serious case presentations to daily write-ups on what we did at Yoga today!
I say, ridiculous man! I can see anvay and nishant laughing their butts off when they find out about this.
It's just that I expected something else. From all the talk and hoopla, I just thought that the first few days would be full of fun, late night welcome parties, games of badminton, chilling with some music at 2AM in the morning. But it is nowhere near that. I guess I had just lost the groove to study after being away from it for 2 years. And this isn't just some study program, its the mother of all study programs.
It tirns our that the first 2 semesters are always the toughest. Adjusting is one, the course load is anyway quite high. So, can't complain.
We had a formal inauguration ceremony today. The faculty was introduced, and later we were addressed by Mr. Harsh Vardhan, Director with Boston Consultancy Group! Gosh, just blew me away! BCG was always like a halcion dream, unrealised, and to meet a director with them was way too cool!
So, guess i'll get back to the dreary routine. Gotta check the notice board for some more dreadful assignments. Later...

Destination: Planet-i

2008-06-29T19:59:00.001+05:30

A lot has happened since I last wrote. It feels rather odd to be typing out my thoughts again.
A LOT of things were happening in life, which is what prevented me from writing. In reality, all the things that happened were more or less so weird, painful, exhilarating, that it is hard to put them into words. Some of these emotions are so private, meant for solitary ruminations, that it really becomes difficult to express them, even aloud, even if it is just me in front of the mirror.
So, it all started when I got admission to IIM Indore!!! The enormity, as I once told Mihir, is yet to sink in. Unbelievable, but true. So the last 2 months have revolved around planning the minutest details of my travel and stay for 2 years at the Indian Institute of Management, Indore, India. That, and eating, sleeping, watching TV, eating, sleeping.
And now I am finally here. It is a tantalising feeling, I must say. Since noon, I had these weird feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t concentrating at things I usually do. The moment we left, there was a lump in my stomach, a burning down my intestines. The moment we turned the corner off AB Road, and glimpsed the IIM logo painted atop the water tank, I could feel myself bubbling with excitement like a 5 year old.
The location and the place is spectacular to say the least. Situated atop a hill (rather unoriginally named “Prabandh Shikhar”, which directly translates into “Management Mountain”????), it gives a breathtaking view of the entire habitation sprawled around it. In the distance are lots of mountains, in varying shades of blue, azure and grey. I first moved into the Hostel Blocks to get my room. I have been allotted B-218. Rather sad block to be in; it’s the oldest, hence the most unclean and un-cool .
I did meet a lot of the other denizens of Planet-i, as we call it. Most of them had arrived today, and had spent the larger part of the day unpacking, hanging about, finishing formalities. Now we all plan to meet for dinner, from there head to the Auditorium for the SWAC address (which probably is an excuse for ragging), and lastly the Euro Final at 12.15 AM. SO I really don’t know when I’ll be back to my room on my first day at IIM Indore.
Way to start! Cheers! Later.

Loneliness

2008-05-12T08:59:00.001+05:30

Loneliness isn't a physical situation, it is a state of mind.

'Swades' style

2008-05-12T08:54:00.002+05:30

Something eerie happened the other day.
I was travelling back home from Hadapsar, and caught a shared 6-seater on the way. These are diesel auto-rickshaws, larger in size than the regular ones, and supposed to seat 6 people (including the driver). They actually fit 11 including the driver!
But what the heck, it's fun riding one if you get to sit at the back, with one leg and your ehad outside the rickshaw. So, anyway, this time I didn;t get my favourite seat. i was squashed on the inside of the rear section, with the shabby man smelling of country liqour. As usual, I had my MP3 in my ears, and quite oddly enough, it started playing 'Swades'. The setting was perfect, the situation was almost the same, and so was the transportation! Phew, eerie!!!

Recapitulation

2008-05-12T08:51:00.002+05:30

A lot has happened since I last wrote. And that is partially the reason why I did not write anything for a long time.
1. Still trying to gather the ruins.
2. Got admission to one of the premier institutes in the country, and obviously, I am joining college soon. Had to quit my current job for that.
3. Totally immersed in thinking about the new college. All day all I think of is alumni-fresher meets, things to buy, climate at the new place, the course pedagogy, preparatory studies etc.

A most tumultous time...

2008-04-23T09:16:00.002+05:30

This past 2 weeks, have been one of the most tumultous times I've been through...

1) I've had my life ripped apart, rent and torn to shreds. I've tried picking up the pieces, but it's tough.
2) Professional life is hard strung, what with delayed results and close-to-impossible assignments at work.
3) One of my best friends broke-up, and for that, I've kept my problems on the back-burner to try and be there for my friend.
4) And my nephew was born yesterday!!! Trust me, it really is one of the most beautiful sights I've seen till now. No kidding, you don't need a photo, you don't need a picture postcard, that image of that little kid in the cradle, all wrapped up, eyes scrunged tight shut, two soft feet wrapped in socks, and those tiny hands with the tiny soft fingers... the joyous father, the grandparents, the aunt... and most of all the mother... that tired, yet absolutely contented look on her face... I'll never forget those images for the rest of my life...

Love, actually...

2008-04-23T09:03:00.004+05:30

This something blew my head off when I heard it the first time... and since then, I've not seen this part of the movie again... Never had to... the dialogue is still buzzing in my head...
Movie: "Good Will Hunting". Sean Maguire (Robin Williams) is breaking apart Will Hunting's (Matt Damon) smugness of the previous meeting with a calculated, well thought over analysis of his behavior. This is part of what he says...
"... And if I asked you about women I'm sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you've been laid a few times too. But you couldn't tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy. If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and non-fictional material, but you've never been in one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watched him draw his last breath, looking to you for help. And if I asked you about love I'd get a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put an angel on Earth just for you. And you wouldn't know how it felt to be her angel. To have the love to be there for her forever. Through anything, through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand and not leaving because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term "visiting hours" didn't apply to you. And you wouldn't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself, and you've never dared to love anything that much."

How embarassing is this???!!!

2008-04-08T22:53:00.002+05:30

Happened to notice this rather embarassing incident (fortunately, I wasn't the subject).

I was waiting at a road divider to cross. The trafffic on the road in front of me was yet to stop, while the ones behind me had already halted. There was this cute girl riding pillion with most probably a boyfriend. Now we all know that most Indian signal/street junctions have urchins selling anything from cleaning mops to Harry Potter novels. So here there were these two girls selling roses.

Often, they are ready to pounce onn lovey-dovey couples and almost compel them to buy roses. And we try to shoo them off. Now, I observed, this girl saw the urchins and was longingly looking at the roses. As the urchin girl advanced in their direction, I could see a smile come across her face, hoping she would be asked, and maybe she would buy them too.

But to my utter surprize (and her utter discomfiture), the rose seller simply overlooked her, walked passed, and got busy with something else!! Now how embarassing is that!!!

Somedays... things just don't work out

2008-04-07T11:22:00.000+05:30

Friday past was one such day. Had to come to Mumbai, so went to office early, by the 9AM bus. It's only later I realised that I did not have access to many applications, which means no spreadsheets, no 'Help', no mails and no manuals! Of course, the first 2.5 hours of the day would go waste.
So i accompanied some collegues for breakfast. During and animated conversation about a movie called (strangely enough) 'Mr. Azad', I was my usual playacting self, and in one animated motion, managed to spill a jug fulll of water onto the other side, in the process drenching Pritika and Snehal. I don't know if my most imploring and serious apologies (look, really, I was sorry) did any good. Both were really sweet and put me at ease, but boy! was that an embarassing situation. I'm sure I've been barred fromm the canteen then on.
The rest of the day went as usual. Some ups, more downs. Bad systems, worse food. Towards the end of the day, I managed to laeve a little early, and headed to catch the bus home. Luckily for me, the window closed as soon as I reached the counter, because the 'Mahabus' was full. It lucky, cause the 'Mahabus' takes and absolutely convoluted route. Next up was the 'Shivneri', faster nad more comfortable. And as luck would have it, I got the first and the best seat!! And as some more luck would have it, it still took me a good round 4 hours to reach Mumbai, well over the usual 3-3.5 hours.
SO you see, some days, it just doesn't go your way. Just doesn't.

Lizards spook me off

2008-03-30T21:32:00.003+05:30

I confess. Thats is one thing that scares the SHIT out of me. Lizards.
Undoubtedly, they are the dirtiest, most ugly, hideous and disgusting things god wasted some precious time on creating. The serve absolutely no purpose on this planet, and thus, have no reason to exist. But they do, which is one among the many serious incongruities of life.

They are sick, and spook the shit out of me. Today, I came back from Tekdi with Rahul and Pranav, and decided on making some nice egg poach and toast. Add some cheese and lemon juice, and I have a treat for dinner. But as soon as I enter the house and lay down the food items, I see a large grown up lizard on the wall close to the door. Tha fact that it was close to the door gave me some heart, hoping that I might drive it out. But nay, as I keep trying, out emerges another lizard from behind the sofa. In the meanwhile, I had armed myself with a broom. And then to cap it all, the two start mating right there on the wall, and make me look like a fool screaming obsenities, waving a broom and trying to 'shooo' them off the wall. Damn them lizards!

I tehn proceeded to give them a liberal spray of 'HIT'. That broke up the vulgar orgy and 1 lizard took flight, to my utter horror, into the bedroom. It's still in there somewhere, I dare not find out. The other damn thing went and hid inside the main switchboard in the hall, where the buttons and the fan regulator is. I said to hell with this shit. I went into the kitchen and prepared my dinner, but it had lost all taste. As i kept looking at the regulator, the damn thing would pop out, raise my heartbeat about 10 notches up, and again disappear into the regulator.

As I was about to decide to ignore it, I hear a strange 'plop'. The f%$#@$# thing has fallen to the floor!!! Eeeeeeooowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
But no, I decide to confront my fears.. a la batman. Broom in hand and Hit in the other, I stalk the damn thing and roast it in Hit spray. Luckily I managed to get the door open in time as the lizard came out of hiding from under the sofa. Again I burst the Hit directing it towards the door. The lizard, flustered by the poison, made a dash through the open door.

Ahh!!! What a relief. Though i cannot forget that there is another f%$#ing one inside, and the pervasive smell of 'Hit' won't let me forget, I feel a sense of relief. Yet, I still keep turning fearfully at the wall... Hoping there are no more lizards. Damn them again!!!

The Soft Option

2008-03-25T00:20:00.002+05:30

Soft Option

Definition: noun, used to describe the simplest and easiest among choices. To take the beaten and treaded easy road.

Usage:

1. "I took the soft option when I decided to join junior college in the science stream." - another kid I knew, when he finished schooling sometime back.

2. "It's better to concentrate on 1 things, than mess up both. So I guess I'll concentrate on my HSC and not spend time attempting the IIT-JEE exam" - a boy I know who just passed 11th std.

3. "Man, breaking up was the Soft Option! You gotta fight back" - advice I gave a friend when he broke up cause his parents wouldn't approve.

4. The whole world wants to do engineering, MBA, without even knowing what they really are and what the people really want to do. They do it just because it's the well treaded path, the Soft Option" - a collegue at work.

5. "Not knowing what I want to do, is the easiest justification for taking the Soft Option." - Me, now.

Shivaji Mahraj ki Jay!!!

2008-03-24T21:33:00.003+05:30

So today is Shiv jayanti. Atleast the state declared one. Doesn't matter very much because I still did not have a holiday.
So today is the great Shivaji's birthday. In fact, all the time I was in Mumbai, this was just another festival (if you can call it that). That's probably due to the more cosmopolitan nature of Mumbai, given that Shiv Jayanti is predominantly important to the Marathi folk. But naturally, it is more important in Pune, the centre of Marathi asmita. And boy is it celebrated with gusto!!!

Every major road, and every nook and cranny in that road has a group of folk celebrating it. This includes a bust of Shivaji placed ceremoniously in the middle of a small clearing and a bit of decoration behind it. In typical Puneri fashion there are loud speakers blasting away songs, abhangas, and other patriotic oriented music (but one place was playing songs about the Indian freedom struggle, which sounded rather anachronistic). It's almost like 50 big and small birthday parties being hosted in the honour of the great Maratha.

I came across this one cranny, where a typical celebration was in progress. There were about 20 odd children in the 10-15 age group dancing wildly to "Get Busy" by Sean Paul!!!?????!!!!????!!!! That was exactly my reaction. What struck me most, is that they neither understood the meaning of those lyrics, nor the importance of the birthday party they were celebrating. What a pity... tch tch...

Godmen, Godwomen and their works

2008-03-02T13:08:00.003+05:30

I'm not an athiest, but my utter contempt for godmen and godwomen alike is legendary. I mean I bore my audience to death if such a topic comes up. I don't have anything personal against them, it's just that I'm cynical.

Recently, a Mata came a'visiting. They occupied the Exhibition Ground near my home in Mumbai, and filled it with busloads of people and speakers that blared music and Amma's praises till 2Am the next morning.

The same evening, Mihir was trying to convince me over coffee, that some of these godfolks do have good intentions at heart, and not all deserve the wrath of my cynicism. So it seems that this Amma gives individual attention (yeah, sounds like 12th standard tuitions) to all her 'Bhakts'. Mihir found out today the exact ruotine behind this individual blessing charade. It seems that people queue up at the stage to meet her. A lady holds a tissue to your cheek, wipes it clean and asks you for a language you understand. Then the 'Bhakt' proceeds to Amma and she hugs him, and whispers in his/her ear in your language of choice - "You are my son/daughter".

And, well, thats about it. Then you are supposed to feel happy about yourself and go back.

Lowest, trenchiest, most dickiest state of mind

2008-02-18T22:29:00.005+05:30

I was back.... back to a new low. Life turns and hits me, and I get back, for some more...

Today was one of those days, (as EI would say, "happens to the best of us"), when I was at a lowest, trenchiest, most dickiest state of mind. Just one of those says when everything seems out of place, right from the toothbrush, to the route the bus is taking, to the way your closest is behaving. I could feel being boxed in by that feeling, like a car on a packed street. I was feeling shackled, gagged and tied. I could not express that anguish, but very well feel it, that icy, incisive, cold feeling like ice-cold water when it hits your face. Everything that was happening around me, seemed oddly at ease with itself, even the chaos seemed to settle into an odd rhythm, calmly mocking the tumult in me. It's as if your entire life, nay, your entire existence seems to close in around you. I'm somewhat sure everyone has felt that sometime or the other, the feeling of your whole existence walling you in and closing in around you. It's probably somewhat like a near-death experience. Flashes of the past, glimpses of the present whizz past you with annoying frequency.

And it is at such times, that I can see myself. Frankly, the naked starkness of that image startles me. There are no coverings, no shells, no protections. The entire clothing of impressions, images, viewpoints and beliefs, that you have based on what others say, is all gone. That is when I see myself in a different light. It is in the nakedness of this image that I see all my shortcomings, my failures. For all the things that seemed out of place before, right from the toothpaste, to the route the bus took, to the way my closest behaved, there seems to be an explanation. It is then that I realised, that here lies the source of most of what is going wrong in my life.

I don't know how correct is this image of myself I see, whether it is true, or blackened and blotted by the sadness, I don't profess to know. But I do know that it is here that I see my real failures, my shortcomings, my nadirs all at the same time. And that moment of realisation hits you like a 20 ton truck ramming into your head when you've got a 10 beer hangover. How one chooses to see it is a matter of personality... whether you brood over it and give up on yourself, or use this to overcome those shortcomings. I know how I am to use this realisation, whether I do it that way remains to be seen.

More on this later...

The Strange case of the Missing Florists

2008-02-14T11:12:00.004+05:30

This is strange. Rather strange.
I have lived where I live for more than 18 months now. And I have realised that there are NO florists, or atleast flower shops of some repute or credit in the entire of Karve Nagar, Pune!!!

I mean, it is a such a dilemma when I need to go to visit someone on a special occasion, and I can't even carry flowers. Sheesh!

But, think of this. It tells you something about the people here. If there are no florists in KarveNagar, it clearly means there is little or no demand for special bouquets and flowers to be gifted to others. Knowing that Karve Nagar is inhabited by a large number of decently well off people, it reflects rather poorly on their attitude. I mean, it shows that people here don't gift flowers to others, probably hardly visit others on occasions, and even if they do, they don't have the courtesy, love or common sense to carry an innocous bouquet of flowers!!! BAD...

Another day at work

2008-02-11T22:07:00.000+05:30

Completed the execution of my project at work... It is now into production!!! Yippeeeee!!!!

It's been a long 9 months we've been slogging our butts (and minds) off on this project, and finally last Saturday it went into implementation. And I hope it was a zero defect successful launch.

Actually, I should be feeling exactly what a woman feels after she delivers her child... 9 months of gestation and then the moment of sheer joy when the delivery is complete. The same apprehension and vague fear is in our minds too, on D-Day.

But oddly, I don't feel it. Probably, I am not as closely attached to this project as a mother would be to her baby. I mean, heck, the kid has an umbilical cord yaar. The only way this project was attached to me was by a contract in soft copy form that my company signed with another company. I just don't feel that attachment or soft corner for it.

So, the entire workout of spending 13 straight hours in office in front of the green-red-black Mainframes screen, trying to catch a wink on the 2 bean bags in the cafeteria, eventually heading to the resting room only to find it filled with a musty odour and an occupant who snored like the roar or 2 Pratt-Whitney engines, felt like just another day at work. Nothing special gained, nothing special done... nothing at all.

Ramayana and Mahabharata

2008-02-05T10:59:00.000+05:30

Another random perambulations of and idle mind. (Atlest it's not a devil's workshop).

I have over the years read/heard/been told various tales from the 2 great Hindu epics. I have also endeavoured to read condensed version of the two epics, giving me a fair idea of the story as well as the teachings. And, I can condense whatever I've learnt from them, into basically 1 sentence.

Read both, it's important. Because the Ramayana tells you exactly how to behave and what to do, while the Mahabharata tells you exactly what NOT to do and how NOT to behave.

So one gives you the ideal way of life through a hardly human avataar (Ram) and the other relates a saga of follies by extremely human individuals to tell you what mistakes to avoid. Amazing, isn't it?

Just my thoughts though.

Hedging emotions

2008-02-03T22:41:00.000+05:30

Just a thought, and some might say, a rather weird one.

Just as we 'hedge' our investments and money to mitigate or reduce market risk, how about 'hedging' your emotions too?

Instead of concentrating and focusing all your attention and emotional attachment towards 1 person or object, why not diversify it. Have atleast 2-3 people who you are really, or atleast equally close to. Indulge in 2-3 hobbies or interests. Feel strongly about atleast 2 or 3 different issues. That way, we can ruduce the risk of getting hurt when any one of these is unavailable, and hurts our feelings or emotions.

Say your best friend is being aloof, or your child moves away, or your partner is busy with friends, you always have the other to look to. Say you feel strongly about quota reservations, and some day (god forbid), they actually come into effect, you atleast have some other convictions to fall back on, rather than being driven to suicidal tendencies after losing faith in the countries justice system. Say, you can't find to go to the gym due to work, have 2 other hobbies, maybe like music or blogging which you can do otherwise too.

It's just a thought, because I havn't really tried this. All I know is that when one of the above fails, it hurts. Really makes you miserable right inside. So just thought of this as a back-up, to our usual support systems. Sounds rather cynical though. Ummm... gotta think about this.

Of Leadership, and other inexplicable management 'funda's

2008-02-01T23:26:00.000+05:30

I want to study management, and evidently, I need to learn some 'funda's. Fundas are basically jargon, simple concepts in complex terms. Like 'coming up to speed' (reaching a level of understaning) or 'touching base' (making a courtesy phone call to apprise someone about something) or getting a 'ballpark figure' (an approximate number). But this is one 'funda' that wasn't all jargon with no substance.

Credit goes to the speaker, his enthusiasm was so over the board, that I then realised what they mean by 'drilling it into your head'. He was speaking/screaming/yelling so loudly, that my own throat started hurting in sheer pity and empathy. But, he got his point across.

And so he went on... and on... and goaded us to think, ask what is the purpose of our existence. Try and find it out. And that has given me sleepless nights. I'm losing sleep over this very question, which to many might seem trivial and stupid even. But I now want to find it out, not for the sake of answering this in an Interview, but because I need to know. I, myself, need to know.

It was about leadership. What he said is, that all management institutes try to teach you Leadership. At least that's what they claim. Harvard says so, and so does IIM Ahmedabad. But thats untrue. Simply because none of these institutes of repute, have a tiny rat's ass of a clue as to what leadership is.

The man went on to explain what his own little understanding of leadership was. I won't ramble around as he did, because I can put down what he said in 3 distinct points.

1. Leaders KNOW what they want to do.

Obviously, a Leader is supposed to 'lead'. So s/he must know exactly what s/he wants to do. And mind you, that isn't childs play. Your destiny isn't a 35mm screen that plays out in front of your eyes one night, and you just know what you want to do. So, a sure sign of a 'Leader' is someone who knows the purpose of their existence. It could be absolutely anything; what is important is that a 'leader' is identified by that purpose, and a burning desire to achieve it.

2. A 'Leader's purpose of existence is not linked to monetary gain.

This clears any doubts that might arise from the previous issue. Heck, most people know what they want. Its the 'hari patti', be it "rupaiya, dollar ya pound". It's all about money, honey. No, it's not. A true 'Leader's goals are not governed by the monetary profit that comes out of it. They do not think in terms of fiscal defisit or year-end profits. Those are targets for managers. The Leader looks concrete, practical and tangible achievements, whose value does not fluctutate with time, unlike money.

3. A 'Leader' is born.

What that means is this: You cannot create a leader. They are just born. So whatever claims these management institutes make of creating, moulding and transforming leaders is quite plainly, hogwash. A Leader is born that way, different from peers. You cannot find create one, nor teach someone to be one. That works for managers. Managers are appointed, Leader's emerge.

Being a watchman

2008-01-31T22:57:00.000+05:30

I've got to flush this out of my head, once and for all. Otherwise I might not get any sleep.

Today, was a new low.

I was never so bored in life. I went to work today, stayed 8 hours, and did absolutely NOTHING. And this has been the trend for the past month or so. A few days of heightened activity, and then large swathes of absolute inactivity. And it is most irritating to spend 8 hours in office, just because there might be a chance of some work coming our way here . I now understand what a watchman feels like. And boy, it is one helluva boring job. This whole stupid routine is getting on my nerves. To add to that, I catch a cold due to the inexplicable cold in Pune (the fever too must make an appearance). Anyone heard of 'Climate Change' here?

This whole 1-2-3-4 type routine does not challenge me anymore. More importantly, does not stimulate me. Beat this, I was looking up movie titles and general WWII facts on Wikipedia, just to kill time. The prospect of having to fix my neighbours rather obvious code errors seemed sooo inviting then! If I have to think, I'm sure my team mate can hear the gears grinding due to all the rust!

Point being, this whole mental and physical stagnation is killing me. I realised today, that I am mortally bored. So, point two, what do I do about it? In my present situation, I am quite paranoid, morbid, and rather angry. So I will get some sleep, and think of this tomorrow.

Good Luck! Later...

The ACTUAL Underpriviliged

2008-01-29T22:07:00.000+05:30

‘Taare Zameen Par’ has had a profound influence on me, I won’t deny it. But what I’m going to say, has taken root not from this movie, but actually from somewhere else.
TMZ threw focus on dyslexia, and more generally on the trials under-performing students have to go through. It is common knowledge that children, who don’t score an A+ in school, face a lot of discrimination from peers, and often from parents too. But, a quick search on dyslexia on the Internet reveals a rather stunning and less known fact about the ‘disability’.
It seems that dyslexics, who suffer from reading-writing problems, often have a rare and unnatural ability to think out of the box. That being a primary reason why such unnaturally gifted children are not recognized by our exam oriented society.
When I read this, my mind took a flashback to a seminar I had attended in office on ‘innovation’. That being the buzzword in the industry today, we are goaded by managers to think ‘out of the box’. One of the guest speakers was trying to explain a theoretical framework for innovation. He ended his lecture, with a rather interesting model.

He says that the human race has seen several transformations over our history. It started with the Stone Age. That’s when man learnt to mould stones and flints into weapons and instruments. To use it for hunting. From there, we progressed to the age of Metal. That’s when Man was able to transform and mould steel, and use it as implements, obviously more effectively than stone. Then came the industrial revolution, which brought about factories and assembly lines, the age of Automation. Today, we are in the age of the Machines. We have designed machines, robots and computers to do all our work. We have reached a point where these Machines even ‘think’ (Read AI, distributed intelligence etc.). Thought and logic, the 2 qualities that set us apart from the animals, were also emulated by our machines. So, the obvious question is, where are we headed? What age is next? His theory was this.
To date, we are able to make machines think, perform logical operations, and even act like us. Basically, all our ‘right brain’ activities can be done by these machines. So, up next would be the Age of the ‘left brain’. The age where machines think for us, but the aesthetics, art, creativity takes precedence. These are typically functions of the left half of the brain, and hence the name.
And hence the emphasis on creativity, innovation and OFTB thinking. Now, think of this. The very dyslexics we look down upon are already gifted with this exceptional ‘left brain’ activity. So, it is they who inherit the earth! And people like me have only our right brain to fall back on. So it is our burden to cram books, study hard and pass exam after exam, basically because that is all we are good at!
So, now I think, who is actually underprivileged? And in the coming world order, who will be labouring away and who inherits the earth?

Death... almost!

2008-01-08T09:22:00.000+05:30

Saw a lady almost getting run over by a train. In fact, she would have been split in half if that had really happened.

I was returning home from this test, and was waiting at the slow train platform. Thats when this lady decided to cross the tracks to the fast train platform. She looked mostly like a ragpicker, with a soiled bundle on her shoulders. Somehow, either she missed the announcement (which is quite easy to miss, by the way) or simply didn't see/hear the train coming. At least not until it was quite late.

I was on the other platform and could see this quite clearly. The people on that platform yelled for her to back off - simply step back a few strides and clear the track. But the woman just would'nt budge. you know, thats when i realised what they mean when they say one gets 'transfixed by fear'. You cant think, cant even make a damn movement, which, however, wouldn't take much if you were in your senses. God, that was one scary moment. All I could utter was some gibberish like "Oh Shit, oh.. o... oh Shit, oh Shit, Oh Shit...".

Luckily for her, the people on the fast platform lunged ahead and grabbed her and pulled her to safety. I could see her arch her legs away as the train smoothly glided past where she was standing. Phew!!!

A Quick recap...

2008-01-03T00:23:00.000+05:30

So, what did I do in the past few months...

Here is a quick overview:
1. Studied for and gave the CAT examination (and my decent show is all due to the continual help and support from Mihir, thanx a lot buddy).
2. Made my new bestest friend.
3. Lazed around a bit.
4. Worked hard at office to achieve a lot of the goals set to me.
5. Lazed around a bit more at home.
6. Saw a lot of movies, all mostly bad, barring 'Taare Zameen Par'.
7. Slept some more, and didn't exercise at all.

Ummm... well... thats about it. Pretty boring life, eh???

Another New Year

2008-01-01T23:08:00.000+05:30

Posting after a long time, so I;m a bit rusty.

Heralded another New Year in the wee hours of today morning. Washed away the sad moments of the year past, and hope for a better and most importantly a fulfilling new year. Not just for me alone, for everyone in fact.

p.s. @EI... You're right... its was more than a moment... No wonder Sloth is one of the 7 sins... But, i'll make up for it... soon.

Momentary lapse of inspiration

2007-10-23T10:23:00.000+05:30

This is more of a confession to myself that anything else...

I have been suffering from this bout of incredible.... this.... incredible SLOTH!!! Thats the word, not tiredness, not laziness, not boredom, plain and basic Sloth!

And it manifests itself as this absolute lack of inspiration, mainly to write, and also in other things. Which basically means I just don't feel like writing anything. I hope this is just momentary.

Because this Sloth, is affecting me in every aspect of my existence, right from work to play. I just hope I get out of this soon, real soon now...

Ram Gopal Verma ki 'Aaaarrggghhhhh'

2007-09-12T23:53:00.000+05:30

So in the momentum gained due to the regained net connection, I will write on...

So, what about it?

Well, against logic and rational reasoning, I hired a CD of RGV's 'Aaag'. And saw it. And, like the rest, pulled my hair, ranted, cursed and eventually smiled at it's absolute inanity.

'Aaaargghhh', as is well known, is a rip of an even better known Ramesh Sippy ke Sholay.

Well, we've seen a load of remakes, but this time around, RGV takes copying to the next level. 'Aaarggh' is a dialogue -to- dialogue paraphrase of Sholay. ("Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi, kab... kab??" becomes "Divali kab hai, hain??, kab hai Divali"..... eeeeewwwwwww)

The characters are agains paraphrased from Sholay (but expected). The armless Thakur (immortalised by the incalculable gags on his disability on MTV) is not Inspector Narsimaha, fingerless, with a bad accent.

The wily duo of Jay and Veero transform into a dumbass Raj (that name only suits SRK), who is neither subtly sauve or overtly powerful like the original, and Veero is now Hero (ineptly played by veteran actor of yesteryears - Ajay Devgan). Veeru was playfully flirtatious, but Hero is downright cheap and vulgar. His attire, looks and body language make him look like a roadside pimp... he manages to stare at the wrong places at his lady love Ghungroo (I'll come to her in due course), and also manages a semi pornographic love song with her... Ugggghhhhhhhhh.

Now come the ladies... Ghungroo. Attempted version of the bubbly and extremely talkative Basanti... This one's a rickshaw driver. She is the sole earning member of the family, drives ricketty rickshaw that emits sounds more pleasing than her dialogue delivery. She is clothed in... well she isn't clothed much... in rather ridiculous clothes. I've not seen too many faminine rick drivers, and definitely none as irritating as her.

Durga Devi, Devi for short, in the 'choti bahu' of the Narsimha household. Sushmita Sen does badly. Poor acting, no poise... pathetic.

And lo and behold, here comes the ultimate villian bollywood ever saw... Babban... oops, were we expecting Gabbar???? Daku Babban, who resides in the metropolis, extorts money from builders, terrorises the town of Kaliganj (It's supposed to be a coastal fishing village, yet it manages to have builders who build tall buildings from whom a goon can extort money!!????), yet is wearing rags akin to what that poor model was wearing in the papers the other day. Poor Babban has a gang of utterly lazy and rather educated looking goons who do nothing but stare on... and on... and laugh... and some more staring... some morose staring... well, thats it. In fact, the only person who does anything in the goon-gang is Tambe, the reincarnation of 'Sambha'... This has a flaw though... because the origninal Sambha was an absolutely lethargic moron who sat atop an inaccessible hillock, doing nothing all day other than smoking pot, training his gunsights on unsuspecting victims of his boss... and of course, keeping track of the real-time updates on the amount of money on Gabbar's head.

And i guess that's about it. Oh wait... surprise surprise!!! But hold on... Not much of a surprise really... I mean, nowadays it's the era of 'Where father, there son', now ain't it??????
Remember the creepy nomad who comes to sell Gabbar weapons, and whose moll is Helen gyrating to 'Mehbooba oye Mehbooba'... well, in this rehash, its the usual suspect for cameos and special appeareances... And the award for best actor in a cameo special appearance goes to.... "Abhiskek Bachhan"!!!! Pheeewww.....

All in all.... Its one long saga of besura songs, an absolutely rehashed (read stolen) music score, bad actors, worse acting(without exception!), even worse direction, and a screenplay that is soooooo boring.... that I did not even see the end. Just switched it off. Just makes you go 'Aaaarrggghhhhh..........'

I'M BACK!!!

2007-09-12T23:48:00.000+05:30

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaa Haaawwww!!!!

I'm Back!!!

I've regained access to the Real World after a month long hiatus primarily due to the incompetence of the staff and managers at M/s. Sify Broadband Ltd., who happen to be my internet service providers.

For a month, the rascals kept me on hold without renewing my connections with fake promises of their 'people' who would come home to collect the bill and renew my net... Those 'people' never materialized and I was left stranded. Can you believe it, they must be the first people who almost lost a customer because they would not collect his bill!

After 8 complaint calls, lots of daily morning cursing and eventually a simple manual effort has rendered me... ONLINE!!!

Blisssssssssssssss......

"Yeh thi khabrein Aaaj tak, intezaar kijiye kal tak"

2007-08-25T09:05:00.000+05:30

Oh how I YEARN to hear that line!!!

Ever since 'Aaj Tak' joined the 24*7 news bandwagon, it has pioneered the use of crass hype as a means of creating headlines.

And the worst part is that we are forced to watch these 'Breaking News' during lunch. It so happens that the bumbling canteen contractor has taken a fancy for India's answer to CNN. Probably we wrote too many caustic complaints in the Suggestion Book and this is his way of getting back. Whatever may be the reason, all 12 TVs in the canteen broadcast 'Aaj Tak' throughout the day!

And this was yesterday's feature story. They telecast programs with names like 'Sansani!' and 'Khauff!' during the afternoon lunch hours (and the names are quite self expanatory - on the lines of m/s Ramsay Bros & co.). The head line said "Ayyash Bauna Chor" (which translates into Fun-loving Dwarf Thief)!!!!!!!

And the best part is it was accompanied by a 15 minute story, with interviews of eye-witnesses and cinematic recreation too!!! WOW!!!

Down and out

2007-08-20T20:29:00.000+05:30

For the past whole week, actually 8 days in all, I've been nursing a sore throat. To give that company, came a bout of cold last wednesday. Since then, I've been trying to fend off this double trouble... and simply put, it is debilitating and IRRITATING now!!!!!!!!!

A blissful day...

2007-08-20T20:00:00.000+05:30

Ok... So here are the explanations :)

Last weekend was my best friend A's birthday... We've been buddies since engineering. And I have this terrible problem with dates, especially birthdays. I just CANNOT remember them, even close family's... (with a tinge of shame, I've gotta admit the only birthday I remember is my own).

So, I had been planning for a while to do something nice on that day. I planned to connive with his girlfriend. And the two of us set forth gathering other conspirators for D-day.

All our intricate plans were in place. She planned to meet him later in the day like she normally would have. I called him at 12AM like I normally should have, and spun a long yarn about being stuck in Pune due to office on saturday (HA!!! He fell for that one, cause it's true at times).

But alas!! Not many were free to attend the culmination of this conspiracy for the simple fact that no one was in town that day, so it was left to me, his girlfriend R and his school buddy J. To add confusion to complication, I got delayed in reaching the rendezvous. Eventually, the three of us landed up at his doorstep, cake in hand and the camera rolling...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!

A remains transfixed as he sees R, Me and J outside his door, with his sister in on this whole thing... He hates to admit this, but he was Totally suprprised!!!! :)

After the ritual cake-cutting, we gorged on auntie's Idli-Sambhar (gosh it was like manna!). Joke's, food, friends and some internet made it one memorable afternoon. Spontaneously we decided to watch a movie... Chak-De India it was. Fortunately, cause Bollywood usually behaves truant, it turned out to be a great movie...

For A it was a surprise, and R loved it too...

For my part, I could'nt contain the joy of meeting A & R after such a long time... We 3 and other friends have been together for the last 4 years in the same class, and then I used to take everyone's presence for granted.

It's only now, when I am away, bereft of their company... After losing someone do you understand their worth... I've learnt it the hard way. So I've always been the one who forgot to come, the one who forgot to call, the one who was never there... I want to change that, I want to let my loved one's know that I do care... These were my first steps to make amends, to implement what I have learnt... the hard way.

Blisssss

2007-08-13T11:42:00.000+05:30

The past Saturday was one of the most memorable days of my life!!! Rarely, does one get to feel utter bliss... [:)]

'Puneri Patya'

2007-08-09T23:48:00.001+05:30

So the legend continues...

For the uninitiated, Puneites, the denizens of the historic city of Pune, are known for their curtness and acidity of speech, only when you get on their nerves (that's my escape route if a Pukka Punekar reads this). And this terrific causticness of speech and thought, manifests itself in the form of information signposts, or 'paatya', as we call them in Marathi, that Punekar's put up in their shops or homes or from wherever they ply their trade.

There are an immense number of these doing the rounds in e-mails, which makes me doubt their authenticity. But this one I saw myself, and could help but give a wry chuckle at what must have motivated the author to say somehting so absolutely mean!

It goes like this:

At Parvati, the mountain-top palace abode of the Peshwas, the earstwhile rulers of Pune, is now a heritage structure. It houses the main Palace with the central temple, and outside the sqaure ramparts are other smaller associated structures. One of them is, quite predictably, converted into the Peshwe Museum. As you walk out of the exit to this structure, there is an entrance to your left, barred by a metal door with a smaller door serving as the sole opening. It is used as office quarters for the trustees or administrators of the place.

Now, this could have been easily stated in simple words asking people to stay out, but nay... in 'assall' Puneri tradition, a signboard hung on the door says "Aat baghynasarkhe kahi hi nahi ahe, tyamule aat dokavu suddha naye" (There is nothing to be seen in here, so don't even try to peek in)!!!

Crass-h

2007-08-08T23:58:00.000+05:30

Saw a movie after a looong time... and it was my misfortune that it happened to be 'Cash'. That, well, is a new Hindi movie...

Well, the title says it all... It's not about Cash, it's simply Crass!!!

Never have I seen such a phenomenal waste of money on inconsequential beautification of 90mm of celluloid.

It all starts of with a garish song sequence, with the 5 actors I expected to be on screen... Za-'yeda' Khan, Rit-shit Deshmukh, 'Sham'-ita Shitty and the veteran actor Ajay Have-gun. And proceeds to a plane with Za-yeda being the only passenger in the business class with the human quesstionnaire Ayesha Takia (what is she doing here???). Then starts The Story, of, very predictably, a diamond heist. Za-yeda Khan goes on to explain (again, why go through that trouble???) how The Veteran lives differant identities. During the day he is a poetic husband to Sham-ita Shitty. Btw, Miss Sham is an explosive cop in Cape Town. It seems the CT PD are allowed to wear skimpy tops and tight pants to office (It's the heat I presume, its Africa afterall!). At night, he is a high profile thief (funny he never seems to actually do anything, yet lives in a posh condo and drives a Ford Mustang, and his cop wife doesnt suspect shit, Great!!!)

Then there is the part where a mystery lady Bujha-Diya Mirza walks in, as lacklustre as an extinguished lamp. For some unexplained reason, she has been asking The Veteran to recite the same old Santa-Banta joke every time she meets him (??????). She is The Moll, to The Villian - Suniel super-Shitty(now now, he was out slimming, wasn't he?). The Villian has a terrifically enticing accent when he speaks Shakespear's tongue, so much so that his own uncle (and the Uncle is Swedish - ???) can't understand squat of what is being said. A murderous misunderstanding ensues.

After The Main Boneheads are introduced, a song is used to unveil the star att-crap-tion...Esha Deol! Over the past few years, as she developed a flatter tummy, she has started getting an allergy for clothes that cover her tummy. The director obliged and she doesnt get to wear much in the movie (lucky Esha, at last, the flat tummy and other such womanly assets can be shown). But my oh my, we can only admire at the awesome built. Her pics must be put up in all gyms alongside Arnold and the other hideously musceled men. Her biceps are as big as, say, Bret 'Hitman' Hart of old. And her shoulders are what men strive to achieve even after years of hardcore gymming.

Well, then there is something explained about who Za-yeda Khan and Rit-shit Deshmukh actually are. And then something happens which I really did not understand. All I registered is a bizarre series of French Bank robberies, police chasing Esha Deol, The Villian trying to clear the misunderstanding (again in the weird accent which does not help), some unneccessarily expensive stunts, and when the money fell short, some goofy animationin place.

And suddenly, we come to the end. To cut it short (basically I did not understand anything else), The Villian double crosses the rest and kills The Moll. So the remaining renegades hunt him using an F-1 car, a 500cc Bike and 2 road sledges (that speed on curvy roads like they had turn control????????). And The Veteran, eventually shoots The Villian.

What I took back:
1. How do bollywood directors spend big money on only action stunt scenes, in a movie with no story, no script, no scope for performance and no semblance of a plot???
2. The reason Bujha-Diya Mirza keeps wanting to hear the joke is that The Veteran is sooo bad with dialogue delivery, that till the end, NO ONE in the theatre understood what was the last line of the joke.
3. What does Esha Deol have to do to prove she is a WOMAN????????????
4. Don't ever, I always remind myself, DONT EVER watch such garish movies again.

"Everyday"...

2007-08-06T11:30:00.000+05:30

I am not at all of a poetic bent of mind, heck, I can't even appreciate poetry of nay sort! But I am a lyrics freak, i.e., I do appreciate the lyrics of music, besides, of course, the music itself.

So, while rummaging through my over sized underutilized song collection, I cam across this Bon Jovi song. I never was particularly interested in him or his music, but this one song struck a chord. Not for the music or rhythm, but plainly for the lyrics. I just felt that if I wanted to pen down my thoughts, try and describe myself, and if only I was gifted in poetry, well, this would be IT. The song's called "Everyday".

"I used to be the kind of guy
Who'd never let you look inside
I'd smile when I was crying
I had nothing but a life to loose
Thought I had a lot to proof
In my life, there's no denying

Goodbye to all my yesterdays
Goodbye, so long, I'm on my way

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Change, everybody's feeling strange
Never gonna be the same
Makes you wonder how the world keeps turning
Life, learning how to live my life
Learning how to pick my fights
Take my shots while I'm still burning

Goodbye to all those rainy nights
Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday

Hit the gas, take the wheel
I've just made myself a deal
There ain't nothing gonna get in my way
Everyday

Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on

I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday

I, oh I, oh I, I'm gonna live my life everyday
I (gonna touch the sky), oh I (spread these wings and fly), oh I
I'm gonna live my life everyday"

Return of the Friend

2007-07-29T23:43:00.000+05:30

AT LAST I met my ILP friends.

Whats so special? Well, the fact that they all stay 300 km away (one of them stays in a differant country!), and that I rarely get to meet them. For the first time, I had planned, intricately planned their 1.5 day stay in Pune. Saturday night we would take to the city, dance the night off. Come back to my place, and chat away till the wee hours. Naturally, we have loads to catch up on... Sunday we could have the traditional 'sight-seeing' session. All this intersparsed with lunches and dinners and gobbleableas at Pune's choiciest eateries. (Sounds rather like a gen-x uptopia eh?)

Well, atleast this is all that was ringing in my head for the last 2 days. But as luck would have it (And it usually has it this way), the plan didn't work out. No one to blame for it. It just didn't work out.

So, I met S & Y for just about 5 hours today. And that is not much. We all went out for lunch, about 8 of us. Then on to Pravati, the famous peshwa palace in Pune. I had last been there about a decade back, so it was as good as new to me. Yet, we had a great time. The place is beautiful, and the weather luckily was on our side today. All in all, had a good time.

But now that they have left, I have this indescribably hollow feeling inside of me. I am suddenly missing them soooo much! Probably, in this whole rat-race (it's not a mouse race, mice are smart), I have left behind things that mean a lot to me, people that are worth more than a 5 figure salary, memories that mean much more than the humdrum of daily life. I guess these inadequacies of life are brought to the forefront by such incidences, and this realisation brings with it utter dissapointment that makes me want to tear this void apart, vent all that anger out in one massive blast. It also brings along a hope, a positive energy, that pushes me to pick up the peices, try and rebuild, kindle a new light. It makes me TRY... I'm trying... always will...

Pune's nightlife...

2007-07-27T11:43:00.000+05:30

Whoa!!! Pune is supposed to have the most 'vibrant', 'happening', 'hip' (blah, blah, baaahhh...) nightlife, now isn't it??? I don't see it, for 3 obvious reasons...

1. More often than not, I live the part of a software professional, and work till late in office, which doesn;t leave me with much of a nightlife.
2. The poilce and the moral brigade have reportedly started a crackdown on the discs and pubs in Pune, enforcing a deadline of 12.30, at 10.00PM itself. (??? what???)
3. Lastly, cause there is NO authoritative guidebook, either in print, or on the net, giving some info for the uninitiated like me!!! Google turned up blank!!! (Well actually, I found a website, in which, under Nightclubs and Pubs, I find a place called 'Aahar Restaurant and Bar'!!! SHEESH????)

Tell me... is this Love? - cont.

2007-07-22T13:20:00.000+05:30

I was off blogger for about 2 weeks, otherwise this updte would have come before.

Heard this from a friend, let's call her Z.

Z comes from a rather liberal family, and by liberal, I mean liberal by Indian standards. And well, she is in a relationship with this guy from her college, who is now studying abroad. As such, their love hangs by their daily phone calls and some rather short and infrequent meets. But the distance isn't their biggest problem. The guys family is damn conservative, and as far as my knowledge goes, so is he.

And this is something she said when she told me that he is rather conservative for her... Z says, "His familt is very conservative, and so is he, but thats ok, cause I love him so much".

Hmmmm... is this love?

The beauty and horrors of Lanavala

2007-07-22T12:52:00.000+05:30

Had been to Lonavala for a 1 day trip on Saturday. For the uninitiated, Lonavala is a rather overcrowded hill station between Mumbai and Pune.

The road is quite pretty in the monsoons. The greens are all out, covering the mountain slopes. The waterfalls open their gates and you get to see some magnificent sights if you have the eye for them.

But overcrowded is the word!!! The place is swarming with the whole of Mumbai and Pune, especially in this season. All the usual scattering of 'points' are filled with parked cars and buses and their inmates. Among the more famous is the Bushy Dam (a misnomer), a small barrage across a smaller lake, that squirts out water over it's edge, with just enough force for people of all ages to safely wet their asses sitting on the concrete steps that form the downstream portion of the Dam wall. Enjoyable??? - Shmuck!!! That place is a veritable 'Kumbha Mela' of the west. It looks like a pilgrimage, with all the colourful people and the mess they leave behind sans any devotion or care. And it's disgusting to even think of getting into this melee. Fear of get jostled and falling is one, skin disease is the other! I'm sure it's a hotbed for germs, what with all those people bathing in it upstream. Yuck!!!!

So it's better to look for greener(or should I say, cleaner) pastures at Lonavala. Walk up a bit more and you will come across some less crowded and rather enticing waterfalls. Make some space, change, and get inside! And MY, it's a feeling hard to describe... sheer xtacy!!!!

And yeah, mind your footing there. It is mighty slippery. At one point we also saw a pair of small snakes. Now reptiles freak me out, and snakes? well, of course they do!! So I turned back, and slipped, lost my footing, and slammed my face into some cold hard rock. For a moment I thought, well, this is it. Either I'm gonna start 'floating' out to the abode above, or I'm gonna be horribly disfigured like Two-face or something. Fortunately, it was an inch long cut. I wrapped my shirt around it to stem the bleeding, and somehow made it back to the car. After some initial first-aid, we realised that Lonavala does not have a single approachable hospital, so off we drove to Pune. Basically, I ended up with some staples on my forehead and loads of bruising on my face. In fact, I thought I looked like some bhai who just same out of a fisticuffs with another goon. Not a very enticing description, but typical of my unearthly humor at such times. In fact, I have not put up my picture here for fear of inviting too much sympathy!!! [:)]

So, moral of the story - Go to Lonavala, get wet, but I won't be at your side...

I'M BACK!!!

2007-07-20T23:40:00.000+05:30

Thats exactly what I want to convey... I'm back to the Blogger-sphere... (he he, not like I was a vital part of it), nevertheless, was a part of it.

The past 3 weeks off my blog have been, in a word, tumultous!!!

It includes everything from Rains, heavy rains, weekend Mumbai trips (which, btw, means no internet), a phone snatching incident, 1 night at the office (again!!!), insanely hectic work, and eventually, a gratifying recognition for all that hard work. Phewwwww...

So back to today, I need to catch up on lost time... I've already read up on A & N, now to get back to my other blogger brodah-hood...

Firstly, A, I'm gonna continue ur tag...
5 unusual things that have happened to me...

1. Had 2 B%*@$^DS try to snatch my beloved phone at 11 in the night, and I luckily managed to avoid it.
2. Had an absolutely INSANE dream last night, actually woke up totally shaken from it, and that does not usually happen to me.
3. Had 4 bomb-scares in my school where I studied for 13 years. We were evacuated to a nearby ground and taken home. The last time, these huge sniffer dogs made rounds of all our classrooms). It eventually turned out that they were crank calls by a student to delay the exams (Myyyy, were they ingeniuos back then!!!)
4. Been on the phone till 4 in the morning.
5. Cried... cried all alone when I saw 'Dil Chahta Hai' at 1am in the night... made me remember some friends...

What does that mean???

2007-06-24T21:38:00.000+05:30

Rather vague title... mainly cause I don't know what should I title this... Cause it's a lot about an unexplained phenomenon that's been ragging me for the years past...

I'm sure everyone has, unfortunately, heard of Mika 'Girls are meant to be kissed' Singh. And his only other claim to shame, the song called 'Saavan ma lag gayi aag...'

OK, and any one who heard music in the early 2000's has surely heard the song. It goes something like this...
'Saavan ma lag gayi aag...., dil mera aawwaoooouwwonnnnuuuwwnnnnnn'!!!

WHAT WAS THAT??? The damn line ends with this absolutely un-syllablic wail from the kiss-machine, that cannot be described in even the most phonetic of scripts... And me being a lyrics person, needs to know what the F%&$ that was!!!

Any help??? anyone??? anyone???

Shootout... what a load of juvenile crap!

2007-06-17T12:34:00.001+05:30

Obviously, this is gonna be scathing.

I confess, I don't know what made me do this, but I saw "Shootout at Lokhandwala" on a saturday night. I agree I could've made better use of this rare free saturday evening in Pune.

2 words, the movie 'is shit'.

And now more words to follow.

Purportedly, its based on 'True Rumors', whatever that's supposed to mean???!!! So it starts of as a tale of 5 goons (and trust me, they are nothing more than that, they are NOT Indian robin hoods), and 3 cops out to gun 'em. Simple.

The entire portrayal is atrociuos. ATS head Khan begins by descibing how he recruited the squad. Why? I don't know. Abhishek Bacchan gets killed trying to nab a sikh seperatist terrorist. So the ATS gets created. wow! And then he goes about recruiting down-and-out non-believer cops and other 'rugged' fellas for his baby, the ATS. Am I impressed! Then they go on to tell us about how ruthless and trigger happy the Dolas gang is, and why they should be damn well killed.

Eventually, Amitabh Bacchan (he has to be there in every film nowadays), gets tired (like the audience) of all the inane explanations provided by the cops, and FINALLY asks them to cut the chase and get to the end.

It turns out that the 5 most wanted killers are zeroed in on by the cops. Khan says it was an informer, but other references claim it was the dubai don himself who screwed his lieutenant here by giving the cops his hideout. Like that matter much? So the dumb cops suround the building, and... open fire (based on true rumors, isn't it?). ???????? hello??????

Then an absolute war ensues, and the goons are mercilessly gunned down. Encounter!

What irked me the most was:
1. The fact that Maya Dolas finds it surprising that his boss in dubai screwed him, especially after the fact that he himself went after the Boss' man in mumbai. How dumb can he be?

2. In typical Bollywood style, all the goons call up their near and dear ones from a phone in the house, and confess to their mistakes. In one scene, this goon says, 'Yeh sala mamu lok (cops) humlog ka encounter karne ke liya aayela hai'. Dude, what were you expecting???
That they come there and arrest you? Handcuff you, take you to court, feed you on the taxpayer's money, and then one-day let you out on bail? Atleast, he cant expect that!!! And it's exactly such bullshit movies that glorify and gangster's life and make the police appear like immoral murderers. They show the lamentations of the dead dolas's mother, but not of the family of the builder these rascals killed.

Basically, its an uncooked story, that tastes as bad at the beginning, as in the end. Watchin "... Metro" after this made 'Metro' look like an Oscar winner...

Growing up, and getting ready...

2007-06-15T22:40:00.000+05:30

I am writing this, partly as a reply to the question posed by the 'Enigmatic Illusion' recently... Girl, it's NOT just you!!!

Its always all about growing up, now, isn't it? I mean right from our childhood, we are coached for this one thing, 'apne pairon pe khada hona'. For girls (more often than not) this turns out to mean to be able to cook the proverbial 'aloo gobi' and gear up for married life. For guys, mostly it means to be able to earn and support a family.

I have grown up, in my twenties now. But is that enough? I'm not sure if I am READY yet, for all that adult life has to throw at me. And there are many who are all set and ready, and that really baffles me to say the least. Just makes me feel that somewhere down the evolutionary race, I got left behind. There's an incident to illustrate this.

Two weekends back, I met P and B, two of my junior college friends. We were all very close and great friends then. But somewhere down the line, we had lost touch. So naturally, it was GREAT to meet up again. P was to leave for a job abroad (he's got a great posting in HK). And I learnt from him that B was gonna get married!!! To top it all, another friend R, was already married!!! I was silent for exactly 15 secs when he told me this on the phone. I was like, gosh, they are my age, how can they be marrying!!!

And so the three of us met. And when B actually told me about it, all I could manage to say was a perfunctory 'Congratulations'! I mean I was in shock. I did not even ask her her would-be's name and what he does (I'm sure she must be thinking what was wrong with me)!

Its just that I was so overwhelmed by it all. I mean, I guess this is the age when girls get married. But.... I mean, everyone around me is moving on, getting married, working, getting jobs and leaving their homes... And they do it with such confidence and elan, it just makes me feel I don't belong here. Ok, I too have moved out, work, earn a living, make my own decisions, but marriage??? and settling down???. It just seems like... like... I'm not 'ready' yet...

Tell me... is this love?

2007-06-15T22:09:00.000+05:30

Usually, I have a lot to say about everything under the sun. But 'LOVE' is one subject I really can't talk much about. For the simple fact that I have realised I don't know, or rather don;t understand it yet...

The most cliched 'definition' is probably 'friendship'. You know, the filmy, mushy, 'kuch kuch hota hai' type, "Pyaar, dosti hai!". I think thats B$%#S&*T.

I heard an alternate explanation for this... Love is... "Friendship, on fire!". That explains all the lust and passion people feel when in love. But that still doesn't explain it all to me. What happens when all that lust/passion/frenzy is over, and all people have is just each other, plain and simple? Say, like when you are 65 or so... Frankly, I don't know the answer...

I heard another explanation... albeit picked from a film, it's not exactly filmy... trust me...
This is an excerpt from the Bollywood flick "Bluffmaster". (Caution: the first part of this dialogue is blatantly ripped from Ocean's 11). Nevertheless, it goes like this. Abhiskek Bacchan's character Roy, is meeting Priyanka Chopra's character Simmy at a store. Simmy has dumped Roy because he is a conman. Now Simmy is with another guy, and Roy, witty as usual, is trying to convince her to get back with him because he has changed.

Simmy: "Ab main (the guy's name) ke saath hoon"
(I'm with (the guy's name) now)
Roy: "Kya woh tumhe hasata hai?"
(Does he make you laugh?)
Simmy: "Woh mujhe rulata nahi hai"
(At least he doesn't make me cry)
This part was picked right from Ocean's 11. That put me off... But the next line, was a killer...

Roy: "Woh tumhe hasa nahi sakta, AUR tumhe rula nahi sakta, matlab tumhe usse pyaar nahi hua"!!!
(He can't make you laugh, AND, he can't make you cry, that means you don't love him yet)
HMMM..........

It happens only in India - part 3

2007-06-05T09:25:00.000+05:30

With reference to the below post...

And we educated (some being electrical & electronics engineers) individuals, actually allow that to happen in out own homes, without blinking an eyelid!!!

It happens only in India - part 2

2007-06-05T09:09:00.000+05:30

Ever called a carpenter over for getting a hole drilled in the wall??? Or, when your home is being renovated, ever noticed the carpenter use the electric drill to drill a hole in the wall or some woodwork???

There is something really peculiar about that. Right from school, to college (engineering even, since I did it in electronics), I was told time and again that any electric applicant MUST have a plug at its end. Never leave the 2 wires open. But carpenters here never, and as a rule NEVER, have even a 2-pin plug at the end of their electric drills!!! They always end up jacking the 2 wires into the mains socket, and hold that in place typically with a 'maachis ki teeli' (a matchstick).

Smile... an everlasting smile...

2007-05-28T20:12:00.000+05:30

Melodious eh???

Well, this has something to do with the events of today evening. The was cloudy since morning, and I LOVE that. Impending rain was stamped on every shadow that the clouds cast on Pune. And it did rain, in the afternoon, and I wasn't there to see it (Not like I'm supposed to, nevertheless).

As I stepped out of office at about 6PM, the weather was PERFECT. It was mildly drizzling, a balmy breeze was blowing, and the exterior of the office made for a perfect setting for all this. So as such, I was in a rare good mood :)

The bus ride back home was uneventful, me stuck to i-pod, and the bus stuck in the jam. As I was to get off the bus, I carried my airbag, clutched my cap, and jumped off the bus. At that very point, as the breeze hit my face, as the pleasantness of the place struck me numb, I had just one reaction.

My face just broke into this broad smile, and a smile of absolutely pure joy, one that I hardly break into these days. There was this girl behind a guy on a scooter on my side of the road. I think she must've seen this, and I saw her spout a wonderful smile too :) I mean, the reaction was so spontaneous!!! I would give anything to have seen my face as I got off, and maybe, it was mirrored in her smile. Its really amazing, how some natural circumstances (the weather in this instance) can spruce you out of the all-pervasive gloom in your life, and how one persons joy, can bring a smile to another, absolute stranger...

And trust me, these small incidents can lift your own spirits... :) It reminded me of these lines...

" Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end."

RAIN!!!

2007-05-23T22:53:00.000+05:30

The heavens have answered our prayers!!!

And they burst open today for the first time... oh how I love the rains!!! :)

Rise and Fall

2007-05-22T23:01:00.000+05:30

Been a hectic week at office, which clearly shows from the reduced frequency in posting.

The thing is I am working on 2 projects simultaneously. And both are critical, time-consuming and require a lot of time and effort. The perfect recipe for a disaster, ain't it??? Anyway, I am somehow managing till now :)

And doing a good job at it. Did well to complete my set of tasks on the new project, and some more. Also had to interview some new joinees, a first for me!!! I am now a 'senior' here, you see :) And also had to solve some issues regarding my old project. And as such, feeling rather good about myself at work. The thing is, the new acquisition project coming up, is tough... Damn tough!!! With 3 of our most experienced people out of it, and two more fresh joinees to be trained, the entire onus is now on me, Nimish and Brijesh. And to top it all, I plan to leave the company. Thus, I am quite valuable to the project, and I have to do some critical tasks and transfer my knowledge and expertise to the others, before I leave.

Hey, that makes me feel good :) Good about myself. So much so, that when Brijesh was wondering whether we could successfully execute this one, I confidently said that we would, and do a good job of it! I was amazed at my own confidence! This is new, coming from me. But you see, I was feeling good about myself :)

Later today evening, I was with Brijesh and Pranav Vyas (he's my Project Lead) going over some issue that was recently unearthed. It turned out that there was a problem in the client system, which might have far reaching consequences. By the time I could read the mail, and even attempt to figure out what the hell had happened, Pranav and Brijesh were already off looking for solutions. And before I could say, "Hey, wait a minute...", they had already found it. Pranav, though not a technical person anymore, has the entire system in his head. He knows it like a clock knows time. So also Brijesh. And that's when it hit me like a thunderbolt...

Unknowingly, and yes it was unknowingly, I was getting a tad carried away. The good work done by me and the appreciation received was getting to me!!! This realisation came as a shock, cause I am really not too egoistic a person. And this really got me thinking. I hardly believed that experience is of great importance, and that a genuinely good person can do well even without it. But I just saw how wrong I was. It does count for a LOT!

This entire incident was such a great leveller; it brought me right down to Terra firma. Only when you look at people like Pranav, that one realises that there are miles to go before I can sit back and say what I told Brijesh, this time with genuine confidence... "Yeah, we'll do it. And do it well"

I have something for the sunset... maybe... I do!

2007-05-18T00:09:00.000+05:30

Folks say I have something for the sunset... at least Nimish and Priya think so. And that's because of the innumerable sunset snaps I have on my various digital media (the two of them think I'm a bit unhinged when it comes to capturing the sunset on my camera).

But what neither knows is how correct they are. I do enjoy the sunset, maybe more than the sunrise, especially if I am on a beach or on a mountain/hill. Like the one below...
Well, this was taken today evening while on my way to tekdi. It was interesting to have the two electric power cables superimpose over the setting sun, a contrast of two vital sources of energy. One keeps Pune ticking, and the other keeps this very earth ticking!

Btw, I found that a friend was actually painting a sunset herself!!! I guess she likes sunsets too (I have to ask her that)... So, I'm not the only crazy one... :)

Liberating, is'nt it?

2007-05-13T23:40:00.000+05:30

I've never felt all too liberated in my life... There is always something tying you down, something holding me back. Too many strings attached, you see.

So, today I was out on MG Road. And today being a Sunday, the road is converted into what they like to call a 'Walking Plaza', by blocking all vehicular traffic. So thats a road where you can only walk, and walk all you want.

Its tiring, I agree. But you see, I arribed there after a back wrenching drive on the Scooty over Pune's infamous roads, and had walked almost 2km on naroow and traffic infested bylanes before reaching here. So, naturaly, this was like heaven.

And, in the middle of my walk in the middle of the road, I had this brainwave, just like that! It feels awesomely liberating, to walk in the middle, BANG in the middle, right on the dividing white line, of a usually crowded main street, with not a care in the world, about traffic or anything else.

See, the gaity and colourfulness of the place is infectious, it has this continental charm to it. You jus get mobbed by it. Its a great feeling, even if it is for a moment only...

Restaurant Review 2

2007-05-13T23:30:00.000+05:30

Place: Marz-o-rin
Cuisine: Mostly baked products, puffs, burgers, pastries etc.
Ambience: 6/10 (cause the seating is sparse, and not the most comfrtable)

If your a Punekar, u'v probably heard of it, even beem there (so there is no real point of this review). Nevertheless, looks small, but is deceptively bigger, serves some excellent pastries, burgers and sandwich fare and has the most desirable location.

Situated right on M.G. Road, it is bang in the middle of the 'it' place of Pune. Sporting the biggest and trendiest malls and stores in Pune, the MG Rd- Camp area is for the swish set. Maarz-o-rin is this bawa-esque joint, spanning the ground and 1st floor of a 1 storey building. The bakery is at the back.

Recommend you go there a bit late on Sundays, so you can revel in the 'Walking Plaza' below and window shop around a lil' bit. And then when you're tired, reach in here and hog on some pastries. The milkshakes are also popular, besides the usual burgers, pizza, sandwiches and cakes. Make it a point to sit in the balcony section. It is extremely cozy, seating for 2 an 4 people. It gives you a view onto MG Road underneath. And if its a sunday, then it's only pedestrians below. Makes a great view to look at the world in all its colour and gaeity pass underneat, while you sit back and watch with someone special, (and a delicious pastry) :)

2007-05-13T13:03:00.000+05:30

Wooo Hooo... My cousin Pranav is in the country!!!

And, thats a synonym for 'Wer gonna have a BLAST!!!'

More about that fun later, keep watching this space...

It Happens only in India... part 1

2007-05-11T00:49:00.000+05:30

I am starting this section titled - "It happens only in India". I intend to chronicle day-to-day, mundane events, that (though mundane) are rather remarkable. And oh so remarkable, becuse they cudn't happen in good 'ol Queen's England, or in Yankee land. They happen, only because, "eee toh hamaar bharat des hai".

At the outset, I'll make some things clear. This is no, ABSOLUTELY NO, reflection on India's greatness or its heritage. I am NOT anti-national. On the contrary my friends would attest that I am a die-hard patriot. So please, see this in the correct light. Remember, it is not just fun, it is fun from which we can hopefully derive some lessons, for our betterment of course.

So, here goes...

It Happens only in India... part 1

1. Major traffic snarls on a rather lesser known road, at 11.30 PM!!!
Beat this, today I was stuck for atleast 15-20 mins behind 4 large red buses, and numerous cars and bikes at the Golibar Maidan junction. And this traffic snarl occurred at 11.30 in the night!!! Now that's a time one would expect to record one's top speed. But not here.

2007-05-02T22:25:00.001+05:30

Two weeks back was a 'long' weekend. That means anything more than 2 days at home. And after meeting truckloads of people for the first 3 days, I found myself quite lonely on the 4th. Didn't come as a surprize though, cause Anvay was busy the whole day and I knew Mihir had his vivas the next day.

So I set out all alone, for a walk on bandstand. Dad finds it 'out of the ordinary' and mom gets 'annoyed' when I say I'm going for a walk alone. True, i've rarely done that before. But this is one thing that I have come to do, and even enjoy, off late. It's not a circus tight-rope act OK. I just put on something, jack the i-pod into my ears, and off I go, preferably to Bandstand or the Sea-link area. In fact, any place would do, sole criteria being that I am left to myself.

So there I was, evening, 5.30 PM, walking on bandstand. Bandstand, as folklore goes, is a 'happening' place. Especially in the evenings. There is the Taj Land's End, Cafe Sea Side, the Bandra Fort, the sea facing promenade, bungalows and highrises (the fact that Mumbais rich and famous live in them, only adds to the aura). Moreover, it traditionaly was the only place for Bandra's couple's to enjoy an evening outdoors.

And most of all, is the sea. The Arabian Sea. Stretches 'as far as the eye can see'. The sun setting behind the ocean casts a multitude of hues across the sky. This is a treat for an amateur photographer like me :) But I must confess, that those hues also make me think, think deep, real deep, philosophical even. And I was sitting in the amphitheatre, with 20 odd people of various ages and sizes around me, yet all alone. Thats when I though all this, and put it down in an SMS to Akshay... this is the SMS.

"Hey man, m at bandstand right now. Was walking here alone listening to music. It really is quite pretty in the evening. Took a few nice pics. Looking around, was remembering the old days... In front of me is the sea and the setting sun, And behind me are the tall posh high-rises. One is like the past, all memories and happy and sad moments setting like the sun. And the other is the future one wishes for... And here I am, sitting between these two sides, unable to decide where i belong..."

Restaurant Review 1

2007-04-28T00:13:00.000+05:30

Since I'm quite a sloth, a terrible cook and living alone in Pune, I get to eat out more often than most. So, I'm starting this section on my culinary experiences and hope that others might learn somthing from it. Cheers!!!

Place: Flags
Type: Multi-cuisine restaurant
Location: Near INOX multiplex
Ambience: 7/10
Food: If you are diet consious, STOP reading this and go back to your salads and diet coke.
The menu is HUGE. Preferable start your dinner with a drink. I tried mostly Mexican fare, and it was excellent. Special recommendation: The Fusilli Vanquese, pasta with chicken and cheese. Perfect for cheese-heads like me!!! Desert was some Dutch Trouffle, which was outta this world.
Good-to-go? Oh yeah!!!

Curing the Itch, the Natural way!

2007-04-25T00:15:00.000+05:30

Sat through another training session at office the other day... this one on Naturopathy. It's in my quarterly goal sheet OK, I can't help but attend banal training sessions(who cares if it's training in Tai Chi or Oracle apps, as long as hours accumulate in my appraisal).

SO, the training on Naturopathy. OK, I was duped! It was supposed to be a session on stress management, but turned out to be something else. I nice lady discoursed in 'shuddh' and rather rambling hindi about the virtues and techniques of naturopathy. They are said to relieve every disease and ailment known to man except 'stupidity'.

Well, so the lady went on, and on... and on some more. It was kinda good, at least some of the techniques might benefit us software labourers. Towards the end, the nice lady tells us their 'sanstha' (organization, trust etc.) will treat us and 9 other family members for free using naturopathy. But to avail of this, one must complete the fomality of filling out a token form detailing history of diseases in the said members. And to fill this form, one must pay a small, token amount of... of... A Thousand Four Hundered bucks!!! Thats 1470 to be precise!!!

So what started of as an instructive session turned out into a marketting gimick for a little known healing trust. Gosh!!! and that too inside company premises, at the behest of the company itself!!! The icing on the cake, or should I say the cake on the face, was that someone tried to verify the veracity of this 'sanstha', and Google informed him that it was fraudulent scheme that promised lifelong treatment and thugged folks of their hard earned cash.

You know why such schemes work? Cause even naturopathy has no cure for basic stupidity.

2007-04-20T00:00:00.000+05:30

Learnt something new... and I must add, rather intriguing today.

During this workshop on "Effective Technical Writing", we were gassed with the usual adage of avoiding jargon, using the active voice etc. There was this section which spoke about avoiding gender bias, which was rather new to me.

What it said was, avoid using Gender specific terms for common people. Like "ask HIM", instead, say "ask the USER". Well, this I knew, but the lady teaching us threw up some amusing and quite unexpected exaamples.
Use "Manufactured" ot "Synthetic", instead of the common "Man-made"
Use "Chairperson" instead of "Chairman".

But hey, I have a doubt. And don't shoot off labeling me an MCP. What does one in the industry use for "Manpower"??? What??? Hey, genuine question...

Sample this for indecency

2007-04-19T23:29:00.000+05:30

Today I was attending a seminar at the head office, and I happened to ride the elevator from the 6th floor to the ground. As soon as the elevator arrived at the ground level and the doors opened, a barrage of men just barged into the carriage, as if this was the quickest way to heaven and salvation.

I mean, c'mon people, these wern't abborigines or middle age savages (they actually were educated employees of reputed a software giant) to not know or understand the simple rules of decency. It's not like I took multiple credit courses in decency and courtesy, but it is very basic manners to let people alight from a carriage and then get in.

And in stark contrast to this, was another incident I saw later in the day. The 6PM bus ferrying the employees home was about to leave. And trust me, you miss that bus, and you are stuck in office for the better part of 3 more hours! I was in the elevator, and we stopped on the 1st floor where my work area is. As soon as the doors opened, there was a collegue standing, waiting to ride the elevator to the ground floor to catch the 6PM bus. Yet, and I say again YET, she stood back in surprise at her own hurry, offered her apologies and allowed all to alight. Really admire that girl! It is such things in life, simple day to day occurences that set some apart from the others.

And this just isn't idle praise for her, but a lesson to be learnt by all. Cramming up books and earning 5/5 in the half-yearly appraisal isn't everything, learn to be human first.

Painful Irony

2007-04-03T00:30:00.000+05:30

Growing up is largely inevitable. Physical growth is more or less given, but may not be the same mentally.

In my family and some friends, I am considered as the 'kid' in the family. The immature kid, who needs advice, protection, blessings, knowledge and scolding too. There people don't really TAKE my advice, rather I get loads of it. I am not really consulted, rather am told.

On the other hand, some people find me amazingly level headed. They actually ask my advice or discuss extremely sensitive matters with me. And at times I do offer some conclusion and advice too! Someone has actually said this, on more or less the exact words, that I have a clearer thought process than most.

So, this painful irony makes me wonder, which is the real me? Is it the bungling 'guy next door' who always forgets to call relatives on time, leaves his keys behind, wakes up late at times. Or is it the other 'guy next door', who is emotionally sensitive, yet strong as a rock, one who cares for his dear ones with utmost ferocity, one who would kill someone who even atempts to wrong his friends, one who never had a goal, yet worked hard and even achieved all his short term goals?

Its hard to decide, I wouldn't have called it a 'painful' irony otherwise.

New Office... At LAST!!!

2007-03-28T23:24:00.000+05:30

Wooooohoooooo.... Today was my first day in my new office!!!

The new premises are great. At last, I feel like I am working in a reputed software company! Probably this is at par with any other s/w office, but it's new to me, cause my earlier workplace had the amenities of an auto-garage.

I spent a whole lot of time exploring today. I guess I have the essential vantage points covered. That includes the inner coffee machine, the cafeteria, toilets, the resting rooms and the gymnasium. The place is rather big, and quite confusing, given the vast number of loops and passages around. It will take me a few days to be confident of my way about the place.

The gymnasium looks state-of-the-art, the coffee is decent and the work area is great. The AC does not freeze you, my cubicle is in the aisle near the windows, and the view is great. What more can I ask for??? :)

The best part is the cafeteria. It is simply fabulous. Its just what we have all been asking for, and a bit more too! Good food served throughout the day, besides other dry eatables and drinks available. It's the single most critical factor for outstation singletons like me, who work their asses off in a software job. I was soo happy, I had this goofy smile splashed across my face all day!!!

Guys, the verdict is out. The new place ROCKS!!!

A panorama with a perspective...

2007-03-27T23:03:00.000+05:30

Panorama, as given by my digi-cams guidebook, is an exceptionally wide angled picture which requires unearthly skill posessed only by my camera. Atleast, thats what the guide book claims :)

Well, the panorama I refer to is quite commonplace. There is this place near my home in Mumbai, a large 6 lane highway near the seaface. (It is immortalized innumerable shootings and sightings in Bollywood movies of the likes of Dhoom et al). Since I was on an extended vacation to Mumbai, and a terrible throat infection prevented (and still prevents) me from long conversations, I drifted off to the sealink for a refreshing walk.

That place is actually excellent for an evening walk. It is thronged by joggers and walkers of all ages and sizes. The other most populous denizens of this area are the millions of couples, yes, human couples, that arrive by the dozen, reserve places on the stone embankment and proceed to ummm... well.... just make out in public. It is so dense that once I was jogging down the track, and there was no place for about 200mts for me to stop and rest without violating someones privacy. Can't really blame them, no real private spots left in Mumbai. What pisses me off the groups of lecherous yougsters that roam the palce to ogle at the couples... I mean... sheesh man, thats really stupid.

Nevertheless, I ended up yesterday evening, all alone with my MP3 player, on the sealink. After a long time, I had solitude and time, both at the same time. You need both these simultaneously to actually THINK. So I plugged in the earphones, sat on a luckily empty spot on the embankment, and just gazed out at the evening skyline of the city of dreams.

I dont know what it was, maybe it really was the solitude and time, I had this absolutely surreal feeling sitting there gazing out into the creek. The whole world whizzed past me, joggers on their rounds, boats in the creek, planes in the evening sky, people around me, and I just sat there. Thats when I noticed, that Mumbai has an excellent skyline. A rather commonplace observation, people would say. NAY I say, not for a hardcore Mumbaikar.

And not for me definately. I had the whole vista right in front of me, like I had just painted it. Right from Bandra creek, across Mahim and Dadar Chowpatty to Worli and the Land's end. And every building, every feature adn colour in the sky ahead of me, had some emotion, some memory, some reference attached to it. That just gave a whole new perspective to a seemingly smelly and sodden creekside view... It made it a panorama, a panorama with a perspective.

The most prominant structure, the Hinduja Hospital. Hospital's rarely evoke pleasant memories, atleast not for me. I lost 2 very dear friends to a freak accident, another friend was admitted there with multiple fractures. I can see myself standing there on those steps, waiting anxiously for some news, trying to be cheerful. Thats is an image that evokes just pain, no mixed emotions here.

The sodden creekside railway crossing before Bandra station. That used to be a 'landmark' once upon a time. Whenever I return from junior college by train, the sodden smell of the creek reminds us all that Bandra is here, gotta get off!!! The Mahin and Dadar chowpatty are places for the immersion of large idols during Ganpati. I remember going to my friends balcony to view the immersion. His grandfather was a detective (???, atleast thats what he told me, and at age 12, that was rather believable), so he had this high power binoculars which we used. That really was an enjoyable time :)

At one side is the Taj Land's End hotel, and the actual sealing bridge construction, all this adjoining my engineering college. He he he, I cant really go into the memories connected to that, that would take a LOT of space. Maybe I'll put a synopsis here some of these days.

And at the farthest end, is the end of Worli. The tall TV tower with its red blinking lights, and the hideously tall skyscrapers and the enormous construction crane. If the rest represented some memory of my past, this was one part where i'd want to associate my future. As I sat there listening to my mp3s, I logged this silent dream. That is, if I ever make it big, thats where I'd want to live. In one of those shimmering skyscrapers, amidst all the hustle and bustle of the high life. But hey, thats just a dream. Lets just hope for its fulfillment... CHEERS!!!

Word wrap???!!!!

2007-03-21T22:45:00.000+05:30

Had gone to restaurant near office in Pune. This is the actual line I read advertising a local English speech training institute. I cant recollect what they called themselves, but this is how their tagline goes:
"We teach you to speak English fluently and confidentally!!!"

What the heck!??

Troniiiix... Tronix... ta ta ta!!!

2007-03-21T19:51:00.000+05:30

Sounds weird??? Not to me. Thats the chant we used in college to spur us on. No, I aint a roman gladiator or a cricketer who needs all that cheering, but this was one rallying point for anyone or anything to do with Electronics Engineering in my college. Its typical, you know, the standard department chant, that is used indescriminately from sports days to annual dance competitions to fisticuff fights.

'Tronix...', is a snazzy and rather cool shorthand for 'Electronics Engineering Department is the best'. Besides its commonplace utilities, it was used most potently during Euphoria, the annual cultural fest in college. I mean c'mon, (70x4=) 300 odd boys and girls belting this chant out in perfect sync repeatedly, is QUITE a thing. And the statutory use was before and after Elecs dept dance or skit. Before, to basically shut the others up, and after, to show em whos the boss!!! We cudnt give a damn about the condition of our throats, once the mood got to us. We would cheer for the freshers, juniors, seniors, boo the other departments, get into fights, even physical ones, all with the chant in our minds... TRONIIIIIX...TRONIX!!!

Its amazing what such a seemingly insignificant sound can achieve. Its by far the best form of bonding I have discovered. It makes people from diverse backgrounds and experience stick together like super-glue! And fellas, you've gotta be cheered for once to know what it is like. During our final year performance, I was to perform a solo on 'Rang de Basanti' in the finale sequence. Despite the hours of practice, the wardrobe decided to malfuncation. Hey, don't gasp, nothing like what the term implies. It's just that it was a typical Punjabi Costume with all the headgear, and the flourish on top was loose, and hung right into my left eye. It absolutely impossible to concentrate on anything when you have needles being pricked into your eyes I'm sure, and thats exactly what it felt like. But the moment the song reached the fast beat, the crowd roared! Believe me, at that moment I didnt care two hoots about the sagging headgear or a loose dhoti, I danced my heart out. I could here the gang chanting... I still get goosebumps when I think of it.

And Euphoria just happened again in college. I missed it. Many of my batchmates attended as ex-students. Missing Euphoria SUCKS! Some people would surely find this rather childish and immature for a guy who is working now. Big deal, its just a college fest. That too one you have sat through 4 times, and of a college you are no more a part of, and of a culture you are no more SUPPOSED to be a part of. Grow UP they say.

But hey, maybe I dont want to. OK, ive really grown and matured in the last few months, ever since I went of to training and started living alone in new city, among new and unfamiliar people. Yeah, I've made that transition, boyz to men. But a part of me still is hanging back there, in the coridoors of college, in the coffee shop with friends, on the cricket field on weekends, all drenched up during holi, yelling at 12.30 in middle of the night on getting my Matlab program correct, still teasing friends and getting teased in return, fighting with each other over petty things and forgetting as quickly. Is it all that bad???

The flipside of living alone

2007-03-11T16:36:00.000+05:30

The sound of living alone in your own home, working, and earning, all for yourself, is not just interesting, but quite mouth watering to say the least. And so here I am, in Pune, working, and living. Its fun, no doubt. The freedom from responsibility, no one to answer to, and no one to stop you. Yeah, how liberating is that!!!
But, ummm well, get down to earth, my boy.
Like all others, this coin too has its flipside too, and a big freaking flip side at that. For starters, well, where do I start???!!!! The food in office is deplorable, cooking is out of question, travelling in Pune is like navigating an asteroid shower in space, the heat can dry you into a log of firewood in no time.
FOOD. Big problem. Compounded by the fact that office food is barely edible, and hotel food aint manna either. I cant cook, and dont even want to.
TRAVELLING. Problem. The roads are a mosaic of patchy tar, and that too only where they exist. Where they dont, it gives you a sneak-peek into what Mars must be like. Two-wheelers are mad, car drivers are insane, truck drivers are lunatics, and bus drivers are bloody maniacs. Nothing less. Distances are huge, especially my office from home.
WORK. Its a fact, tried and tested, 'first-job' suck!!! I hate my cubicle, I hate my office, I hate the place where it is situated (The place is called 'Bhosari', you can't blame me for hating it, now, can you?) The work I have to do, makes 12th std look like PHd studies. And that is boring.
FRIENDS. or rather the lack of them. BIGGEST problem. Miss everyone a lot.

But, you see, cant keep cribbing for life, can we? So I have learnt to handle it. Found this good restaurant nearby, that serves decent dinner. Cannot avoid lunch in office, so be it. Learnt to eat that as well. I make coffee and breakfast in the morning. At times when we get fed up with this routine, theres always Smokin' Joes or Janaseva Bhojanalay to liven things up. Nimish has bought a bike, and travelling by that saves a truckload o time. Heck, I learnt to ride one myslef, and am actually using my bro's bike myself! Work can be dreary, but I make a consious effort to do new things there. Learn new concepts, talk to everyone around office, look for opportunities improvements in the existing system, et al...Friends, well, that was a bit tougher. Made some new friends in office, really nice people. Got together with a lot of my cousins. Its actually quite interesting, I mean all these years, we hardly met, and now we are really good friends, apart from being related. I regularly keep in touch with old friends, internet is your best pal at such times. Got a partner in Nimish. "Its not like we hold hands and take windy walks or something", we're just team members, and also flatmates. Know each other since college, so it is great company.
But nevertheless, I still miss my friends a lot. Miss ALL my college friends, my building friends, and all the others too. Miss the times we had together, miss the fun we had together, miss the fights we had together, miss the reunions we had together, miss the trips we had together, miss every moment spent together. Cant really help it at times, being 200km away isnt too much these days, but it still is quite a bit for a spftware professional who doesnt get too many holidays. All in all, however far I might be, how many new people i meet, I will always, ALWAYS remember these people of old.

1 Night @ the Office

2007-03-11T15:43:00.000+05:30

Hey, been a long time since I last wrote. But thats because hectic office hours are complicating my mind a lot, so much so that i cant make anymore confessions. But, here goes...
One such instance was this last friday, when on short notice it was decided that we work on the same night, instead of the day when usual mortals work.
So were to turn nocturnal for 1 night. A weird thought struck me, that this is quite like a college time night out with friends, cause here were me, Nimish, Brijesh and Vivek, (who are both older yet quite cool). A tiny difference was that we were supposed to be working our asses off. But that can be overlooked for the moment.
The idea of working late is scary for some, for most, but my personal experience was quite enjoyable. The work wasn't too hard, and we have actually practiced a lot for it. So it was pretty much smooth sailing. We had to order dinner, at 10 in the night. Around 10.15 I found myself poking around the half asleep shops in the near vicinity in Bhosari MIDC(yes, that is the (rather obscene) name of the area where my office is), looking for coke and chips. True to Bhosari tradition, I didnt get any chips, and just one bottle fo overpriced Thumbs-Up. Fair-enough, I said, weve coem her to work and not party.
So, our run started, with me n Nimish gobling Pav-Bhaji and simultaneously keying in jobs with oily fingers. That really points out the virtues of Pizzas in such situations, though many refuse to realise this. Our work activities were done by around 2.30AM, rather thats when we actually did what is referred to as 'Dukaan Band'... which means logoff, shut the monitor, and officially shut shop for the day (or the night in this case). Its only after that when the fun should have started.
But unfortunately, we were dog tired, and Brijesh had to leave, Vivek was too sleepy. So i went around exploring the place. I checked out my office terrace, which is a restaurant oven during dyatime, was actually a sight at night. I never thought the vista(its called the 'view' in the usually hot daytimes) would be as beautiful as what I was beholding. The entire place was empty, which suited me just fine. It was just me and the humming air-conditioner. The entire sity around me was lit up with tiny specs of light. The air was cold, yet not chilly. Bhosari being an entirely industrial area, has lots of factories, some of which were billowing quiet white smoke, barely visible plumes in the surrounding darkness. Distant towers and antennas blinked their red beacons. The trees rustled with a cool night breeze. The entire front porch was lit up with yellow light, gicing a surreal air to the whole place. All in all, it was enchanting to be all alone on that roof-top. Its only at such times and places, can one hear the 'inner voice'. I'm not being too philosophical, but atleast I think I have an inner voice. And I say that so confidently because of the simple fact that I talk to it often.
This inner voice need'nt be some incarnation of Gandhi or anything filmi. Its just yourself you are talking to... a la.. 'Main aur meri tanhayee, aksar yeh battein karte hain'... ar atleast somewhat like that. And only when the noise and jabber of the rest of the world is shut out, can you hear what YOU have to say. One can discuss a lot of things, your dreams, aspirations; congratualte yourself on your success, berate yourself for your mistakes; hum a different tune, say sorry for things you cant easily apologise for, speak you heart out. I do that, whenever possible. I was trying the same that day, but maybe I was just too mesmerized by what I saw, or was just too sleepy, I didnt really hear or say much.
So, I just went to the resting room, stretched out and slept off.
Quite an experience I must say. More so because it was hardly what I expected to wanted. Guess that prepares me for next saturday, which will be another night @ office. I'll try to be better prepared with the chips next time...

What does my face say?

2007-02-27T10:05:00.000+05:30

Do your facial expressions or your body language actually mirror what you are thinking or your state of mind?
I'm not so sure of this. Just the other day, a friend told me that my expressions are very reactive, they give away exactly what I am thinking. It's true, many people have told me the smae thing. Butt that is slightly disconcerting. I'm not too cool about the idea of people having a glimpse into my innermost thoughts. Heck, that obviates any need of telepathy!!!
But I thought a bit more about that, and I agree I am very expressive. But, I pointed this out to my friend, and she had to agree that I am very good at controlling my emotions. I never show what exactly is cooking in my mind, to anybody. Not my parents, not my friends (ok, at times to my brother, and my best friend), but to no one except myself.
When I told this to another friend, he believes this is'nt something to be too happy about. This is going to lead stuff to fester in my mind alone, and yeah, not all problems can be solved alone. He suggests I really need to open up, to someone. For once, I'm gonna take his advice, atleast I will try...